TBS. The annual 24-hour marathon of "A Chrismas Story" has just begun at 8pm EST. It's just not Christmas without Ralphie and his official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB rifle. With compass, of course.
NBC. For airing Seinfeld, one of the funniest shows ever. The show that created its own pop culture with phrases like "Hell-o-ooooo!", "No soup for you," "No, you're Schmoopie!" "Serenity now!" and "La la la!" She still laughs every time she watches Elaine's character yell "I hate this thing! And here's what I'm doing with it!" And, of course, Poker Chick thanks the character of George Costanza for: "Remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." Presently, Poker Chick offers NBC her thanks for not canceling Studio 60. At least not yet.
FOX. For 24. Poker Chick is eagerly anticipating the new season, itching to see how much of a bad-ass Kiefer Sutherland will be this year. She is also thankful for Homer Simpson's "D'oh!" Similarly, Poker Chick thanks whomever came up with using "F*ck" as an expletive. It's quite a satisfying word for the mouth, and sometimes, no other word will do.
CNN. Anti-Israel bias aside, Poker Chick thanks the 24-hour news network for hiring her good friend and bringing him back to New York.
The Movie Studios. What would Jews do on Christmas without movies? Poker Chick has fond memories of seeing a movie every year. Yes, she'd go to the famed Water Tower Place in Chicago and catch a flick with her grandmother. A lovely tradition that endured from Poker Chick's 1983 US debut until college. The reason for this was of course that the 'rents could not survive without their annual winter pilgrimage to Vegas. Ironically, "A Christmas Story" came out in 1983. Coincidence? Hmmm.....
And now, Poker Chick will offer her thanks to actual people:
JJ Abrams. For all of "Lost" and the first season of "Alias." And for giving a great job to an acquaintance of a friend of a friend of a friend who Poker Chick used to chat with on the bus to work.
The Creators of Sephora. Where shall we begin with lauding the best thing that's happened to beauty since Vogue? Sephora, Poker Chick thanks you for the faboo blue glitter eyeliner she wore last night (which by the way was rock, not goth, ahem). She thanks you for helping her keep her babysitter, therapist, cousins, secret santas, and countless other people happy. She thanks you for continuously adding great brands, eliminating the schlep from store to store to get the goods. She thanks you for creative marketing genius, such as the "airplane-friendly beauty" section on your website. Ah, Sephora. Poker Chick's claim to vain would be nothing without you.
Honorable Friends of Poker Chick. Poker Chick is truly grateful for all her fans. She is grateful for those who actually take the time to read her useless musings (Anyone there yet? Anyone? Someone please read this. Please?) She's grateful for friends who can always be counted on for good food, good wine, and a good time. She's grateful for the party planners. The restaurant bookers. The friends who sent the phones ringing just minutes after receiving an email airing some, er, frustrations. Even crossing international lines. The doctor friends with magic powers to alleviate Poker Chick's worst fears. The parent friends who offer invaluable BTDT advice. The friends who are actually family. The friends who offer love, moral support, laughs, comments.... (sharp readers will observe the subtle hint here).
The Bald Man. For creating a new chocolate culture worldwide.
Poker Chick Junior. This section would be longer, but apparently some of you are sick of hearing "do you know what she did today?"
Poker Chick's Roots. Thanks to her family, Poker Chick will never run out of things to write about. There's never a dull moment.
Poker Chick's Employer. For giving her a job. For keeping her employed. For validating her education. For allowing her to use expletives at work. And for paying her to do something she actually likes to do.
And finally, we must all be grateful for:
Poker. For becoming a growing sport, and a reason for Poker Chick to discover ESPN. For inspiring Mimi. For beginning to bring the hip back to AC. And of course, for the creation of Poker Chick.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!