Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Poker Chick is on Strike

Sorry, peeps, she can't even try to be funny today. Even superheroines have their kryptonite. And the past few days have been the final blow in a series of emotional disasters. Forget about one-two sucker punches. Today, in a span of less than one hour, Poker Chick had a TKO.

1) After wanting only "Daddy" for a week the mini didn't want Mommy to drop her off at school, and cried for the babysitter to pick her up instead.
2) On her way to work, Poker Chick found that despite having spent hours on the weekend working, the boss ignored it all and did it the way they wanted anyway. Nice.
3) Feeling miserable all before 9am, Poker Chick figured she could use the old standby: calling Big Boy to wish him a chag sameach. The response: "Can't talk, I'm in the middle of an important call." Of course. She tried her brother. No response. A friend. You can guess where this is going.

Bam! Every time Poker Chick tried to pick herself up, the knockouts got worse. She made it into the office feeling defeated and angry. The rest of the day unfortunately did not pick up. A couple of highlights:

Poker Chick was late to her dentist appointment. Why? After all, she tried. She left work on time. Left enough time for the bus. But she did not leave time for stupidity. So after five minutes standing in front of a building that should have been right but wasn't, she walked another block only to do the same thing. She kept scratching her head until she realized she was on 59th street and was supposed to be on 58th. What made this especially amusing was the fact that 20 minutes prior she had told a colleague that the dentist was on 58th street. Genius.

Next, our girl managed to ruin the one and only Chanukah gift she got this year. The husband had gotten a digital photo frame and spent hours loading photos and video he thought she would like. Thoughtful, right? So what happens? Five minutes trying to use it in her office and it's gone. Deleted. All photos bye bye. Ungratefulness or just plain idiocy? Who knows. It ain't good either way.

Sadly, we could go on. We could talk about the emails she got from the school moms, talking about decisions made at meetings Poker Chick could not go to. We could talk about the one nice thing PC tried to do (made a hard to get appointment for a friend) only to find out they didn't need it after all. Or we could talk about how Poker Chick was just bumped from the list for her favorite holiday party this year.

Forget instant fire or the power to fly. Poker Chick has the power of catastrophic uselessness.

Does anyone else ever feel like a completely superfluous human being?

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