Thursday, November 22, 2007

It's baaack....

Black Friday is here and consumerism has hit a new low. Today Americans are headed to the mall before even digesting their pie. Check out this article for a preview of the madness or better yet, read the original post on this topic. Sub-prime lending crisis? Crisis, shmisis!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Let's eat!

Poker Chick wishes all her readers a Happy Thanksgiving.

Hers is happy because after an unbelievably difficult uphill battle with the gym people, she made some noise, she did some screaming, and she persevered until the full balance was waived and then some. Victory is sweet!


Saturday, November 17, 2007

Unwanted

"I don't love you" says the mini. "Go away!" she screams when I sit next to her on the couch. I move a bit. "Go away more" and she pushes me.

She wakes up at 1am crying. I rub her back for a few minutes. She calms down. Just as I think she's asleep she says loudly "Go away now."

Now she may have broken my nose. OK, she didn't mean it (she said "I didn't mean to hurt you, Mommy!") but still, she whacked me good.

She does not talk like this to anyone else, not her father, babysitter or teachers. So here I sit with ice on my face, wondering where I went wrong. I have constant guilt as more-than-full time working mother, so of course this is another one of those times when I wonder if this is what I get for not being home. So seriously, I'm asking - is it me?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

We're experimenting with polls now. Please see the beta on the right!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Personal Space Invaders

Travel insanity continues. If you're new to the blog, click on the links to read about previous adventures of planes, trains and buses.
The most recent insanity: a 1.5 plane ride that was delayed 2.5 hours, followed by a 1 hour wait in line for a taxi home to go just a few miles. Someone has got to do something about LaGuardia delays!

Travel issues aside, Poker Chick needs your advice! She seems to be a magnet for people with no concept of personal space and she can't stand it anymore. She's asking readers to help her with an appropriate yet clear comment to get these people to stop. The default "get out of my ass!" she's dying to scream is probably not her best bet in reality.

Anyone out there with a little more tact?

*Can't read the comic? Click here for a clearer read.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

And Now For A Few Questions...

We're trying something new today. Poker Chick was interviewed by Emily the brilliant in an effort to talk about something readers are actually interested in for a change. If any fellow bloggers out there are interested in having Poker Chick interview them, please respond via the comment link below. She will send you some questions of your own to ponder.

Do you think the Mini is more like you or her dad? In what ways?

This is an excellent question. Since birth, the mini has exhibited a pretty strong personality, so she's more like the mini than anyone else. But what did she inherit and from whom?

First things first. It goes without saying that her classic good looks, svelte physique and enviable flexibility come from her mother. That's just a given. Next, we'll tackle her intellectual curiosity and mental brilliance. That's a toughie. Both her parents went to the same college, so clearly there's shared smarts all around. But the rest could come from either. Some specific things, like how easily she picks up language and how she likes to take things apart and see how they work come clearly from one parent (i.e. mother and father, in that order) but general measures like unbelievable mathematical and logical reasoning skills are probably just a combination of some good genes. Speaking of good genes, the mini's fate is a toss up between the tall genes and the short genes. Looks like tall will win out. That would be her father. So yay, tall genes! Sadly, she shares allergic genes with her mother. So boo, allergies!

Let's move on to personality. Stubborness. Defiance. These are traits that the mini undoubtedly inherited from her mother. Now, imagine a scenario where both the mini and her mother must win. Not pretty. Hence many conversations that go like this:

"But mini said yes!"

"Mommy said no."

"But mini said yes!"

"Well, I'm the mommy."

"But, I'm the mini."

"But you have to listen to your mommy."

See how Poker Chick wins there? It's a beautiful thing. What's not beautiful: the amount of frustration Poker Chick and the mini both have when the two of them are alone for long periods of time. Now, let's talk about a specific kind of stubborness that the mini clearly inherited from her mother. Food stubborness. The concept is simple: first, you assert you are not hungry when in fact you are. You then proceed to act cranky, pick fights, and throw tantrums due to subsequent plummeting blood sugar and serious headaches. Finally, you calm down after being force fed and admit (it's key to show surprise) that, hey (big shock), you were hungry after all!

Back to good things. The mini is sociable and relatively outgoing, definitely traits from her mother. However she is also kind, thoughtful and altruistic, no doubt from her father. And she's very affectionate which she also does not get from Poker Chick. She's also very much a girlie girl. We'll let readers figure out who that comes from.

Overall, however, a recent poll of Poker Chick and her husband reveal that the mini's personality is very much her mother's.

In all seriousness, the one question Poker Chick often wonders is how would the answers above be different if the mini were a boy? She thinks many of her qualities would be re-attributed to her father, for sheer possession of that y chromosome. So by default, the one thing that makes the mini the most like her mother is the sex. Sad, but true.

What are the three best things about living in New York?

  1. Living in a diverse, multicultural metropolis. Diversity = excellent takeout. Excellent takeout = not having to cook.
  2. Jews. Loads of 'em. And goyim who don't think Yom Kipper is a day for fish sandwiches.
  3. New Yorkers are just plain cooler than everyone else.
  4. Living here pushes you to be much more fashionable than you would otherwise be. (Translation: if you believe you are are at risk of falling into frumpytown one day, do not fear the frump! Just move to New York.)

The three worst?

  1. Rats
  2. Cockroaches
  3. Cold winters

Tell a story about a time you were wrong. What did you do?
Please. Poker Chick is never wrong.


Kidding! Thought she was going to take the easy way out, didn't you? The truth is not only is Poker Chick often wrong, she will admit to it on ocassion. For example, she's often declared to others that Big Boy weights 300 pounds. Not true. Old boy is a trim 250. Another examle: one day at work she asserted that Harry Potter always wore a hat. Now, other than the sorting hat (shown right) or the Gryffindor hat (rarely shown), he obviously did not wear a hat. The clearly wrong and somewhat ridiculous hat reference somehow spilled its way out of Poker Chick's mouth. But she is never wrong. So she had to assert her correctness and try to persuade others that this bogus hat is actually genuine.

Another example: she went over a year believing her pin stripe pants were navy blue. A colleague pointed out that they were actually black, but because Poker Chick already stated that they were blue she had to stick with her story. Still, she knows in her heart she was mistaken all this time.

Poker Chick is not a newcomer to being wrong. In fact, she's wrong so often she's compensated for it with a strategy that will consistently hide it: find a little-known fact that no one can contest. If you say anything with enough confidence you can make it sound true. Now you beginners out there might want to pay attention to this because it will serve you very well if you actually do want to play poker. For example, say Poker Chick wants to intimidate someone with her vast poker knowledge. Easy unless there's a real player at the table and the plan backfires. But you mustn't admit defeat, peeps! You will never be wrong if you follow this strategy. Here's a brilliant example at work. If you think someone's about to snuff out your true hand, throw 'em for a loop with random Poker facts! Make 'em up if you have to. Strange names for unusual pairs. Stories of tournaments you saw someone else play in. Throw around real names for veracity. It's all in how you spin it.

Now, is Poker Chick ever wrong when it really matters? Like shutting people out, laying blame on everyone but herself, not sharing information she should, not keeping in touch, the list goes on. Sure she is! And that's the last confirmation you'll get of that.

What frightens you the most?

Losing anyone else that I love. Also, not being liked and rats, mice and cockroaches.