Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Guest Post: Cooking on the Edge of Insanity

Today we have a rare treat: a guest post from our friend Emily, who's just written a wonderful book of essays which is simultaneously a great read and also a wonderful source of kid-friendly recipes.  If you peeps had our blog analytics you'd know that the guest posts we have are the most popular reads by far, so go ahead and read, and then we hope you'll discuss, and check out her cool new e-book.

Two days before Poker Chick and her family come to visit, I scrub down the table. And the floor. And the walls. And the chairs. Then I announce to the children, “No more peanut butter for the next two days.” The next day, I scour it all again.

Poker Chick hasn’t asked me to do this, and I know it’s probably unnecessary to go to quite these extremes, but you must understand that we love peanut butter. And my kids have bad table manners. About 38% of my kitchen is coated in peanut oil at any given time. While I know that I could wash it all once and hope for the best, I really don’t want to take any chances.

I have a motto when it comes to people with food allergies: Not on my watch.

You will not go into anaphylactic shock at my house. I know the world is a dangerous place for someone with serious food allergies, and I know that parents have to be constantly vigilant. Someday, somewhere, it’s very possible that the Mini will encounter peanut butter and will need immediate medical attention. It’s the thought that keeps Poker Chick up at night, I’m guessing. But it won’t be on my watch.

So excuse me while I go wash my doorknobs.

Emily Rosenbaum is a writer, mother, and all-around lunatic who lives in New Jersey. Her new ebook, Cooking on the Edge of Insanity, is available for Kindle and Nook.


Poker Chick said...

I must say as the friend in question that I these measures are absolutely extreme and it's absolutely not necessary for others reading it if the food allergic parent will be present (if the kid's coming solo, it's a different story). That said, extreme or not we consider ourselves very lucky to have friends who will go to this kind of trouble without being asked to do so. We spend too much time talking about the naysayers but not enough time thanking our friends for what they do.

MF said...

When I was in college, my friend died from ingesting a tiny piece of a walnut. In fact, we are not even sure if she actually ate the walnut, but she ate some food that came in contact with it. She was 18. Allergies should be taken very seriously, good for you, Emily.

Emily said...

Except, presumably other houses are not quite so... peanut-butter infested as mine is... I think these measures are pretty necessary, given that we don't usually clean around here.

Theresa said...

You are a good friend. Can you come and clean my door knobs too please?