Monday, October 7, 2013

Single Mother Suffers from Rare Parenting Fog

Did you hear the one about the single parent who went cray cray?

Of course you did, that's old news.  In today's news, a single mama has a rare flash of clarity and suddenly realizes she cannot do it all.

While sources tell us others have recognized this for years, the inexplicable failure to recognize this earlier can be attributed to only one thing: Parenting Fog.

While not yet classified by the CDC as an official disease, anecdotal evidence suggests Parenting Fog can be a very real and dangerous condition.

Signs and symptoms of the condition may vary, but often include long commutes, fretting over school lunches, and volunteering for mystery steering committees at schools.  Parenting Fog should be strongly suspected when these steering committees are at an unknown school where their child does not attend.  Other common symptoms include failure to return calls and emails, asking questions over and over again (such as: "Who are you?"), and eating expired food while standing.

Now there are reports of an alleged antidote to the condition that must involve a very carefully concocted combination of friends, copious amounts of alcohol, and truffle mac and cheese.  Unfortunately, the FDA was not available to confirm this due to the shutdown of what can only be described as a large group of men and women collectively suffering from Parenting Fog at the same time.

Because really, that's the only plausible excuse for what is going on in DC right now.  

What we'd like to tell our thoughtless fearless leaders.
And with that, if you're looking for this single mama, she'll be relieved of her moment of clarity.

Should she suddenly disappear, you just might find her transporting large vats of mac and cheese and wine to our legislators down south.