Monday, December 22, 2014
It's December 23rd!!!!!!! One of our favorite days of the year.
That's right, peeps, it's Festivus for the rest of us.
You know what this means, right? All those annoyances we've experienced holiday shopping this week or attempting to smoosh into a subway car can now slide smoothly off our chest.
So without further ado, we present the top ten things that have disappointed us this holiday season.
Please to enjoy our first annual airing of the grievances:
1) Stuff. It's expensive.
2) Words with friends. We still can't beat K-girl. And unlike the boyfriend, she doesn't have to let us win once in a while.
3) The subway during holiday season. No matter how crowded the train is, our butt is not, we repeat NOT, an ok place to rest your hand, lady. That goes for you too, mister.
4) Selfie sticks. Need we say more? Have we really become such a society of social degenerates that we can't ask another human being to take a bad photo?
5) People who say things like "Need we say more?" and keep talking anyway.
6) Colbert. 9 years of devoted following only to find out that all the answers to life must be in the form of a question. A tragedy if there ever was one.
7) Festivus. It's just not as......festive as it used to be.
8) Talking stuffed hamsters. Perhaps the most annoying toy in existence. So what if the purchase was our idea after taking pity on a sick child? Learn from our moment of weakness and save yourself!
9) Christmas tourists in New York. There's a simple formula, people. If someone is dawdling slow and leisurely, you may stop them to ask for directions. If they are walking fast and purposefully, you may not. Also, if you're capable of asking for directions, we refer you to point #4.
10) Florida. Where mini and 9 out of 10 of her schoolfriends have escaped to, completely screwing up the cool to crazy ratio in this town, and forcing us to drink tequila alone. Actually, on second thought, that's not really different from any other time in the year.
But- are you not annoyed by the increasing amount of daily emails asking you for end of year money, you ask? No we're not. We aired that grievance last year.
So there you go. Now you may air your own grievances about how blogs are dead and this post sucked. We look forward to hearing your grievances.