Bill O'Reilly Slams Breastfeeding, So What?

We may be a little behind on the news, yes but we're not behind on your peeps' amazing ability to effect change.

Bill O'Reilly apparently feels that recent benefits to support nursing mothers are a burden to our society.  Sounds like he harbors a not-so-secret resentment to people fighting for nursing mothers' rights.  Who knows, perhaps he even harbors a secret resentment against nursing advocates, blaming these liberal idiots for the beating his portfolio has probably taken over the past few weeks.

We're going to go ahead and take a wild guess that readers of this blog are generally pro-nursing, or at least pro-supporting people who want to.

But sometimes you have to look at things from the other side.

Maybe the guy's got a point?  I mean, why should we make it easier to breastfeed at work, or frankly at all?  Do you really like walking down second avenue and seeing the indecency of exposed skin while some oblivious and thoughtless person feeds their child without even thinking to cover up or go down the stairs to the cramped and smelly bathroom like other people with manners do?

What has happened to us?  How are we supposed to increase our lagging GDP if we are encouraging people to take time away from their work to pump?  Look at all those Scandinavian hillbillies who let their womenfolk take a year off work and support their efforts to nurse.  What do they get for their efforts? Cold and ice! Cold and ice, peeps!!! Is that what you want? A land of cold and ice?

Think about it.  All that time pumping.  That, combined with all that brainwashing hoopla the government is disseminating about preventative health, for goodness sakes - smoke breaks may disappear altogether!  Think about what the tobacco companies do for our economy!  It would be downright irresponsible to let tobacco companies struggle in a time like this.  And the formula companies!  My goodness, formula!  Do you know how expensive formula is?  Women who nurse are not spending hundreds of dollars of formula, which would provide much-needed stimulus for our economy.

We don't want to scare you peeps, but Bill O'Reilly isn't afraid to tell the real truth like it is, even if it ain't pretty.  And we're here to tell you if this women's health nonsense doesn't stop we could become a society of (gasp) socialists!!!  Yes, we said the S word.  Extreme times call for extreme measures, peeps.  We apologize for anyone we may have inadvertently offended.

Don't listen to this uneducated hack

 
It's time we took back our society.  Breastfeeding is for wusses.  We need to focus on important issues like jobs for all those unemployed men out there and making guns more accessible to all who want them.  Don't listen to peeps like this guy, whose only agenda is to fuel anti-Fox News propaganda among the common folk.

And definitely, definitely, don't support organizations like this who are going to bankrupt America and spoil our workaholic culture with their agenda for more family friendly corporations. 

So, if you were mad at Bill O'Reilly's comments, you might want to look at an issue from all sides, is all we're saying.

*We feel an obligation to point out that the above post was sarcasm, or what may be referred to some as "satire".  Poker Chick does not, in fact, believe that all Scandinavians are hillbillies, nor does she think people who choose to breastfeed are ruining our country.  Just to clear that up.

And The State Of The Union Is....Awkward

In the buzz leading to tonight's State of the Union address, the focus was less on the substance of the speech and more on seating assignments for the audience.

Beyond the inspiring "Sputnik moment" sound bytes, the most interesting piece of it was watching how it was received. This sounds ridiculous at first.  But think about it.  For days we have been annoyed with this obsession on who's sitting where. For real?  What's the difference? Are you really unable to form your own opinion? Are we such adversaries that despite serving the same country and people we can't even sit together? Are we only able to applaud next to certain people?  And does it even matter? Some of these people are so new they could be sitting next to a seat-filler and not know it.

We thought it was a ridiculous topic of conversation. And truth be told, it is. It should be a given that seating should be party-agnostic and it's high time this was so taken for granted it's no longer a topic of discussion.

But let's indulge our inner gossip-mongers for a minute.

Admit it, you were watching. You tuned out for the middle of the speech when Obama struggled to find concrete examples of how he was going to push his policies forward, and looked at the crowd. And along with the nation's top reporters you noticed the reception this speech got was unusually quiet.

Well, duh.

It doesn't take a genius to realize that when you take people out of their partisan pens the "we're-better-than-you" syndrome is going to be taken down a notch. One only has to take a quick glance at each awkward individual to realize that. Look at the applause: historically loud and supportive; today tentative as people slowly got up, looked to their right, looked to their left, and then (and only then!) stood up and applauded if they noticed fellow party members cheering nearby.

And the awkward continues. 

There were genuine attempts at national unity, evidenced not only by the seating arrangements but also by small gestures: black and white ribbons, pink ties instead of red, more pats on the back, a somber and respectful tone overall. But on the flip side were the people who stuck to party lines, those who refused to sit apart from the party, those who even separated from their own party and made their own rebuttals. Even more awkward: the men sitting behind Obama, not quite sure how to react while he was talking.

"That's my boy!"                                "I'm so bored I could cry"

The President faced a nation in a very serious place, people who are nervous about their jobs, their future, their security, and addressed the fears that we are falling from grace (of course, special thanks to the Republicans who made sure to reignite those fears as they described in detail the "day of reckoning" the US is headed for, but we digress).

So Obama, you get props for rallying the troops and infusing Americans with renewed optimism in our future. But the vibe in the room? Tenuous at best, and, dare we say....awkward. Next year, in addition to mixed seating, let's work on boosting the confidence of our nation's leaders so they are comfortable enough to express their reaction honestly. It's not like they get a copy of the speech in advance or anything. Oh, wait....

Whatever you believe: Republican, Democrat, Tea Party, Roaring Tiger or Anxious Chopper...own it.   'Cause you can.  And that's what he's talkin' about.

America, The Stupid - Part II

Part II: Uh-oh, Poker Chick is getting political...

Indulge her a moment while she gets on her political soapbox, will you? Don't worry, it won't happen often. But something's gone horribly awry with this election. Read Emily's post today for a brilliant but sad commentary on this year's political circus they call "campaigning".

So start paying attention, peeps. Make sure you're registered and then read up. And no, People doesn't count.* Then, make your informed choice and exercise your right to vote this November. Whether it's McCain, Obama, or Nader (pause for shudder), never forget that your vote counts just as much as any of theirs.

This concludes today's installment of Deep Thoughts from Poker Chick.

If you've got a few minutes, watch this hilarious monologue. PC couldn't have said it better herself.


*No offense meant against you, People Magazine. We're big fans!! It's just not intended to be a sole provider of political news. But we still love it! In fact, just to show there's no hard feelings, if you peeps at People want to send Poker Chick some free issues, that'd be great!

Jews, they're just like us

The funny thing about Israel is that everyone looks familiar. Not that it's not a diverse country, it is - you see every skin color and then some and once you get past the weirdness of an asian woman opening her mouth and speaking hebrew it's cool.

But still, take a look at all the white people and they all look like someone you know. Keep looking and after a while you realize it's because where the majority of the white population is Jewish. And if you believe the statistics, one of every six (or four, depending who you read) of these people is related to you or your Aunt Sadie.

For those of you (that would be everyone) used to being a minority population in your country, this concept is a bit mind-boggling when you stop to think about it. A whole country when even the most secular of people refers to their Saturday night parties as those on "motzei Shabbat". It's pretty freakin' awesome.


Now let's talk about the beach. For the geographically challenged, Israel sits on the eastern shore of the Mediterranean. Here are some fun facts, with some help from Wikipedia. First, you should know that large islands in the Mediterranean include Cyprus, Crete, Euboea, Rhodes, Lesbos, Chios, Kefalonia and Corfu in the eastern Mediterranean; Sardinia, Corsica, Sicily, and Malta in the central Mediterranean; and Ibiza, Majorca and Minorca in the western Mediterranean.

1. The Mediterranean climate is generally one of wet, cold winters and hot, dry summers. Crops of the region include olives, grapes, oranges, tangerines, and cork. A souvenir gift for the first person who can tell Poker Chick what a "cork" crop is.
2. Being nearly landlocked affects the Mediterranean Sea's properties; for instance, tides are very limited as a result of the narrow connection with the Atlantic Ocean.
3. The Mediterranean is characterized and immediately recognized by its deep blue color. Behold, a picture of the blue sea wherever we can put it near this text. Regrettably, the good ones are still in the camera. Yeah, uh, that's the story.
4. Evaporation is especially high in its eastern half, causing the water level to decrease and salinity to increase eastward. This makes sense to Poker Chick, as she can tell you it's a salty sea. You can smell it in the air from three blocks aways.

If Poker Chick had more than 2/3 of one (out of three total) battery packs left on her camera, she'd show you the funny splotchy sunburn on her foot. Like a splash of burn. But she can't so you'll have to imagine it.

The funny thing about the beach is that it's almost impossible to find an American these days there anymore. It's all Europeans - a lot of Brits and French, a smattering of Germans, Spanish and others. Americans are not so much loved in this (or any) part of the world, and Poker Chick has never seen it in full force like this.

Now, to answer the first question, why are there no Americans? Because in case you hadn't noticed the dollar is in the toilet, peeps. Fellow ad friends have seen the effects as the tried and true international shoot is slowly becoming a thing of the past. Fashion friends can no longer afford such luxuries as Prada and Louis Vuitton. International friends obviously had this realization before yours truly.

But it's true. Look at everyone else in their Dior sunglasses, and you realize.....we've become poor! And the rest of the world is becoming richer as we obliviously watch clips like "The cutest puppies in America" on "morning news" programs. Know what you get when you turn on the news here? Take a guess, c'mon. That's right! It's......REAL news! Imagine that. Now imagine all the people 'round the world pitying us ignorant Americans as we eat our McDonald's and pet our pooches.

Poker Chick is by no means unpatriotic, but it is......embarrassing. We need to get our act together and wake up and realize the world is much bigger than we are and the days of the American empire are over. Thanks, G.W. Swell job.

Loyal readers should stay tuned for more. Coming up.....tales of Jerusalem and the yuppification of Tel Aviv.