Poker Chick doesn't buy into this stuff, but here's what the latest email chain had to say about hers (and the mini's) sign:
The Sweetheart - Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
If you know Poker Chick in the real world, we ask that you at least close your mouth as you guffaw at the word "unemotional".
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
As Poker Chick gets another random shoutout she continues to be in grateful amazement of her random readers who have no personal investment in her hullaballoo. Thanks, Maria!
We Wish This Were a Joke
This riding crop with antique tip is just one of the "instruments of pleasure" for sale. If you think this is weird, you should see their "butt-ins". Poker Chick feels a need to re-iterate the title of her Valentine's Day post.The excerpt below was taken word for word from a local neighborhood magazine.
In the bedroom
Sometimes you need to whip your partner into shape - literally. The Kiki De Montparnasse collection of riding crops adds an aristocratic touch to your intimate moments, offering handcrafted, one-of-a-kind pieces make of 100% leather and bamboo, engraved silver, or vintage metal detailing. Even the shy and the prudish can appreciate the fine equine-inspired craftsmanship, and unlike a vibrator or pair of fuzzy handcuffs, you don't need to stash it away when the cleaning comes. Visit the Kiki De Montparnasse flagship boutique on Greene St.
Now don't toss those fuzzy handcuffs just yet, peeps. Even if this floats your boat, at $550 a whip you probably can't afford it. Wow, these rich New Yorkers sure are creeeepy.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Punchy Night Terrors
To my Philippine friend, who wanted to hear more about New York....
Sadly, it was a typical end to the day. Run out of office in desparation. People do not understand meaning of "must get off phone now", and, once again, this mother can't get it together and is relieving the nanny late. Run home. 3 messages, all reminders of stuff Poker Chick is letting fall through the cracks. Accountant reminding her to come in. Oh yeah. Friend reminding her to call and book the freakin' vacation in a couple weeks already. Health insurance people calling. They called last week and Poker Chick accidentally hung up on them. She tried to call back but their lines were down and she forgot about it the next day. Oops. Packages to open. More gifts for the mini. Lovely gifts, Poker Chick appreciates the love. Really, please don't take it personally that the thank you note or call hasn't come yet. She'll get around to it. In two months, maybe. Next minute, listen to nanny passing along the message that other moms are wondering why the mini is the only kid whose mom did not sign up for a "shabbat mom" slot. Why? Because Poker Chick is the only freakin' mom in the class that has to work to afford the damn school. So chill out, parents and lay off the guilt. It ain't helping.
Where were we? Oh yes, taking off the jacket. See, all this was just the first minute. Kid and nanny talking at once, sounds like five people yelling at once, don't know what to listen to. Kid wants milk, nanny says keys at front desk missing. Poker Chick pauses to look at mini "that's not how you ask for something!", waits for compliant "please may I have milk...". Continue listening. Keys. Does Poker Chick's friend have them? No. That leaves only the cleaning lady and she does not have the keys. So now we have to go do the doorman search and all and figure out where the heck they're hiding in that lobby box. What a pain in the @ss.
But wait, there's more! Someone was robbed in a building close by the other day. Some guy disguised as a FedEx dude. Seriously! And last night there was also a murder in Poker Chick's cozy little neighborhood. Last night!! Murder!! One person dead, another good samaritan who tried to intervene in critical condition. But hey, at least it wasn't in a nice fancy doorman building right near Poker Chick and the mini. And at least it wasn't in her kids' friend's building. Oh, wait.....
That's right. It was. And now Poker Chick's keys are missing. And this girl here (yes, she's big enough to admit it) sometimes gets afraid in the dark. You know, things go bump, scary guy in mask she's been expecting all her life must be breaking in, all that realistic jazz. Yep, we're pitiful like that. So until we either find Poker Chick's keys or change the locks, suffice it to say this girl will be tired. Dead tired. (Ha! I kill me! Hey, that's one too....)
Sadly, it was a typical end to the day. Run out of office in desparation. People do not understand meaning of "must get off phone now", and, once again, this mother can't get it together and is relieving the nanny late. Run home. 3 messages, all reminders of stuff Poker Chick is letting fall through the cracks. Accountant reminding her to come in. Oh yeah. Friend reminding her to call and book the freakin' vacation in a couple weeks already. Health insurance people calling. They called last week and Poker Chick accidentally hung up on them. She tried to call back but their lines were down and she forgot about it the next day. Oops. Packages to open. More gifts for the mini. Lovely gifts, Poker Chick appreciates the love. Really, please don't take it personally that the thank you note or call hasn't come yet. She'll get around to it. In two months, maybe. Next minute, listen to nanny passing along the message that other moms are wondering why the mini is the only kid whose mom did not sign up for a "shabbat mom" slot. Why? Because Poker Chick is the only freakin' mom in the class that has to work to afford the damn school. So chill out, parents and lay off the guilt. It ain't helping.
Where were we? Oh yes, taking off the jacket. See, all this was just the first minute. Kid and nanny talking at once, sounds like five people yelling at once, don't know what to listen to. Kid wants milk, nanny says keys at front desk missing. Poker Chick pauses to look at mini "that's not how you ask for something!", waits for compliant "please may I have milk...". Continue listening. Keys. Does Poker Chick's friend have them? No. That leaves only the cleaning lady and she does not have the keys. So now we have to go do the doorman search and all and figure out where the heck they're hiding in that lobby box. What a pain in the @ss.
But wait, there's more! Someone was robbed in a building close by the other day. Some guy disguised as a FedEx dude. Seriously! And last night there was also a murder in Poker Chick's cozy little neighborhood. Last night!! Murder!! One person dead, another good samaritan who tried to intervene in critical condition. But hey, at least it wasn't in a nice fancy doorman building right near Poker Chick and the mini. And at least it wasn't in her kids' friend's building. Oh, wait.....
That's right. It was. And now Poker Chick's keys are missing. And this girl here (yes, she's big enough to admit it) sometimes gets afraid in the dark. You know, things go bump, scary guy in mask she's been expecting all her life must be breaking in, all that realistic jazz. Yep, we're pitiful like that. So until we either find Poker Chick's keys or change the locks, suffice it to say this girl will be tired. Dead tired. (Ha! I kill me! Hey, that's one too....)
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