Monday, September 15, 2008

The $744 Shopping Spree

Ever enter contests, daydreaming about spending like crazy in any store? Ever wonder what it must feel like to buy anything you want without even thinking twice about how much it costs?

Last night Poker Chick got the chance to experience what we'll call shopping euphoria. Here's the story:

Unlike most parents, who purchase back-to-school items before the start of the school year, Poker Chick likes to wait until school's started and scramble at the last minute. That's just the kind of forward-thinking parent she is. On this particular occasion, while purchasing a few basics, she decided to get it all at once and order the winter coat. Last year it took a few weeks to arrive so she gave herself points for not leaving everything until the last minute.

In a rare moment of hyper-responsibility, she went through Upromise (4%!) and even found a strange but valid-looking coupon online. Buy 3 items, get the 4th for $1. Cool. So of course this gave her license to add some things to the order. A cute sweater dress the mini "needs" for all those birthday parties she'll be going to. 4 pairs of tights because she couldn't decide which went with it best. A nightie. And so on until she had spent a couple of hundred dollars or so.

And then a funny thing happened. It looked like she was getting more items for $1 than she should. She experimented, adding a few things to the order to see what happened, removing others. Finally, she figured out that she was getting any item $28 or less for $1. That was some coupon. She stopped trying to figure it out and pressed on. This was the stuff shopping dreams were made of.

So she added. And added. And added.

Seriously, she couldn't believe it. She'd chosen every long-sleeved t-shirt on the site, and they were all $1. That's long-sleeve, peeps. She got more colors. Still, the order just increased by a few dollars. It was unbelieveable. Each time she clicked on the "add" button, she froze in fear, waiting for the "total" to jump to some kind of excessive amount. Each time it increased by only $1.

At this point she had to get creative. She couldn't buy more expensive items, but she could buy every shirt already in her cart in the next size up. After all, the mini will need clothes for next year too.

So she added again. And again. And again.

When she'd added every shirt she moved on to accessories. Socks. Tights. Footless tights. Underwear. Undershirts. Wellies. The order continued to go up by just $1 each click.

When it was time to hit "submit" on the credit card, Poker Chick's heart was pounding. She wasn't sure exactly how many items were on her list, she had stopped counting at 30. The total hadn't changed but she was afraid, very afraid. She clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut and clicked.

And then came the order confirmation via email. A couple hundred dollars of big-ticket items and $744 of free stuff. Confirmed. On its way. She could hardly breathe.

Who's gonna be the best-dressed kid in pre-school this year? That's right!

Thanks, magic internet genie! And the free shipping? Nice touch, dude.

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Stay tuned to see if we actually get the order. An interesting experiment indeed.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Thank you, Tina!

I was right! How often do you get to say that?

So much so, turns out, that NBC pounced on the likeness Poker Chick called over a week ago. The resemblance is so uncanny that even as she types this, Poker husband is still challenging, claiming that it really is Sarah Palin on SNL's season premiere opening. Let's all re-watch Dave and do some scenario planning, shall we?


How many of you think McCain would win hands-down if Tina Fey was his actual running mate?

Hell, yeah.

Friday, September 12, 2008

America, The Stupid - Part II

Part II: Uh-oh, Poker Chick is getting political...

Indulge her a moment while she gets on her political soapbox, will you? Don't worry, it won't happen often. But something's gone horribly awry with this election. Read Emily's post today for a brilliant but sad commentary on this year's political circus they call "campaigning".

So start paying attention, peeps. Make sure you're registered and then read up. And no, People doesn't count.* Then, make your informed choice and exercise your right to vote this November. Whether it's McCain, Obama, or Nader (pause for shudder), never forget that your vote counts just as much as any of theirs.

This concludes today's installment of Deep Thoughts from Poker Chick.

If you've got a few minutes, watch this hilarious monologue. PC couldn't have said it better herself.


*No offense meant against you, People Magazine. We're big fans!! It's just not intended to be a sole provider of political news. But we still love it! In fact, just to show there's no hard feelings, if you peeps at People want to send Poker Chick some free issues, that'd be great!

America, The Stupid

Part I: What the hell happened to television?

Combine this nation's love of idiotic shows with a writer's strike, and what do you get?




Oh, world. We are truly embarrassed.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

This Isn't Facebook But...

Poker Chick is wondering whether or not chocolate cheesecake really can cure all that ails you.