Bill O'Reilly Slams Breastfeeding, So What?

We may be a little behind on the news, yes but we're not behind on your peeps' amazing ability to effect change.

Bill O'Reilly apparently feels that recent benefits to support nursing mothers are a burden to our society.  Sounds like he harbors a not-so-secret resentment to people fighting for nursing mothers' rights.  Who knows, perhaps he even harbors a secret resentment against nursing advocates, blaming these liberal idiots for the beating his portfolio has probably taken over the past few weeks.

We're going to go ahead and take a wild guess that readers of this blog are generally pro-nursing, or at least pro-supporting people who want to.

But sometimes you have to look at things from the other side.

Maybe the guy's got a point?  I mean, why should we make it easier to breastfeed at work, or frankly at all?  Do you really like walking down second avenue and seeing the indecency of exposed skin while some oblivious and thoughtless person feeds their child without even thinking to cover up or go down the stairs to the cramped and smelly bathroom like other people with manners do?

What has happened to us?  How are we supposed to increase our lagging GDP if we are encouraging people to take time away from their work to pump?  Look at all those Scandinavian hillbillies who let their womenfolk take a year off work and support their efforts to nurse.  What do they get for their efforts? Cold and ice! Cold and ice, peeps!!! Is that what you want? A land of cold and ice?

Think about it.  All that time pumping.  That, combined with all that brainwashing hoopla the government is disseminating about preventative health, for goodness sakes - smoke breaks may disappear altogether!  Think about what the tobacco companies do for our economy!  It would be downright irresponsible to let tobacco companies struggle in a time like this.  And the formula companies!  My goodness, formula!  Do you know how expensive formula is?  Women who nurse are not spending hundreds of dollars of formula, which would provide much-needed stimulus for our economy.

We don't want to scare you peeps, but Bill O'Reilly isn't afraid to tell the real truth like it is, even if it ain't pretty.  And we're here to tell you if this women's health nonsense doesn't stop we could become a society of (gasp) socialists!!!  Yes, we said the S word.  Extreme times call for extreme measures, peeps.  We apologize for anyone we may have inadvertently offended.

Don't listen to this uneducated hack

 
It's time we took back our society.  Breastfeeding is for wusses.  We need to focus on important issues like jobs for all those unemployed men out there and making guns more accessible to all who want them.  Don't listen to peeps like this guy, whose only agenda is to fuel anti-Fox News propaganda among the common folk.

And definitely, definitely, don't support organizations like this who are going to bankrupt America and spoil our workaholic culture with their agenda for more family friendly corporations. 

So, if you were mad at Bill O'Reilly's comments, you might want to look at an issue from all sides, is all we're saying.

*We feel an obligation to point out that the above post was sarcasm, or what may be referred to some as "satire".  Poker Chick does not, in fact, believe that all Scandinavians are hillbillies, nor does she think people who choose to breastfeed are ruining our country.  Just to clear that up.

Cupcakes for Cancer

 Today we are honored to have a guest post up at Frosting for the Cause.

Frosting for the Cause is a cool blog where a different baker every day, 365 days a year, shares their own recipe and story of a woman affected by cancer.  Each woman who posts donates money to her cancer organization of choice and donates the baked goods to a local cancer center/hospice.

While we're usually all about the funny, this kind of thing calls for uncharacteristic optimism.  What we especially like about this is how it shows the power of one small act.  A couple of hours spent baking one afternoon can:

-Make you feel accomplished
-Provide you with quality time with your child (and baking helps with math!)
-The treats will hopefully make at least one person happy
-The money you donate goes to a good cause
-You create new content on not one, but at least two blogs!
-Someone may try your recipe (paying the enjoyment forward)
-Someone may be inspired to donate or bake themselves, helping many other people

See what one little mixing bowl can do!  Imagine the power of 365 bakers!

Please go visit Frosting for the Cause and check out our way-too-long post! A special shout out to our baker friends out there who we hope will consider sharing a recipe of their own.

5 ways to figure out what kind of phone they have

Ever find yourself frustrated why one friend will text everything, not even picking up the phone when it's in her face, and another friend will only write you back over email?  Even your closest friends you thought you knew so well can completely baffle you with their mobile habits.

Over the past few months, we have developed a foolproof system for figuring out what kind of device that person on the other end is using to call/text/email you.


So, whatcha talkin' on, Willis?

1. Texts and email errors have you worried they have a substance abuse problem (iPhone)
2. Their texts have often been mistaken for a novel (Droid)
3. They email or text videos and pictures more than actual words (iPhone)
4. Even a call or text is returned with an email (Blackberry)
5. They tell their friends, mother and doorman about their phone (iPhone)

and finally....

Their voicemail asks people to leave a return number (land line dinosaur)

Writers are a Stubborn Folk, You Know

A few weeks ago, we were almost published on a writing site for parents.  The article was intended to speak to others who write with little to no reward, and perhaps make them feel less alone in this world.  At the last minute the article was rejected for being "too negative".  The site wanted writers to believe they were going to make money, and this article didn't exactly sell the profession.  It wasn't intended to.  So we're posting it here to prove a point.

If this speaks to at least one person out there, it will be worth it.

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Why even bother?

I ask myself this on a daily basis.  Unlike "real" writers, I haven't made a penny off my writing.  In fact, if I calculate the money and time I've invested in learning how to be a better writer, I'm pretty far down in the hole.  Plus, there's other costs to consider.  Like time, for one.

I'm guessing most of you know that parenthood takes multitasking to a whole new level.  Finding time to grocery shop is much easier said than done for someone who probably doesn't even get to shower without interruptions anymore.  Even if you're lazy like me and do your grocery shopping when your friend plans it, so you can avoid figuring out when to grocery shop and mooch a ride.  (Good mothers are resourceful, am I right?)

Also, there's this pesky little thing called money we need to buy all these kids the things they need: silly things like food, clothing, checkups, and that thing called education you're supposed to provide for them.  Cue the day job, which sucks many hours a week away.

Now that you're getting the picture, you must be thinking to yourself: That's it? All that time left after working and raising a child! Who needs sleep, you need to write! In fact, after reading this lovely piece, we insist!  Talent like this cannot go to waste!  You simply MUST write!  (You did pick up on that sarcasm, I hope.)
It started out pretty innocuously.  I started a blog to update friends and family on my international adventures (sometimes the day job has its perks).  It was kind of fun and I kept at it, mostly because it was a good way to communicate with close family who lived far away.  Like deebo, for example.  That's an inside joke.  Well it was, anyway.

As a mother, it was a good outlet.  I wasn't exactly about to go out after work and start tossing them back to relax, but I could write about the challenges I faced as a mother and that helped me in a different way.  I read other people's blogs and got a whole new level of respect for what it takes to be a mother.  I also learned there's a lot of funny moms out there.  Shockingly, some of them think I'm funny.  So I kept at it and found that I liked the support I got when I needed to vent or the sheer pleasure of having someone appreciate my twisted sense of humor.

You're supposed to laugh now.  Or chuckle, or something.  Anyway.

Then one day someone said "you're really good at this, you should write a screenplay!"  I dismissed it, of course.  I'm a businesswoman.  I work with creative people - they do impractical things like that.  I could never afford to put that kind of effort into something that would pay off any dividends. (See! I said dividends!  Thus proving I am indeed a bona fide businesswoman.)  Then someone else said I should write a screenplay.  Why peeps kept saying that and not a novel is beyond me.  But by the time a third person mentioned this I thought "why not"?  Who cares that I've never even read a screenplay, it'll be a life accomplishment!  Some run marathons, I was going to write a screenplay!  I gingerly mentioned this idea to a couple of people and they laughed so hard, naturally it just made me want to do it that much more. 

So in addition to my hectic life I decided to take an intensive 10-week screenwriting seminar with homework.  And when that was over I added a bi-monthly writing group.  Thus began a 2 year journey of constant writing, editing, checking in with my newfound writing friends.  And now, I am proud to announce I have a legitimate, original, and fully completed screenplay in my possession.  Soon it will be two.  And it's good enough that it wasn't tossed aside by the first competition I submitted it to.  More importantly, it still makes me laugh when I read it.

Wanna buy it? Please?

Ahem.  I had to try, you know.

So where am I after all this?  5 years of blog entries.  One screenplay.  And after years of building readership talking to myself, I'm still at it.

Why is that?

So that's what I ask myself every day.  Some ask whether the tree really made a sound if no one was there to hear it fall.  I am a different sort of philosopher who questions whether or not I can call myself a writer if no one's paid me so much as a teency weency penny to do it.

And since I am very much a betting woman, I'd give huge odds in favor of the fact that at least one person reading this feels the very same way.

Does anyone else see the resemblance?

We can't be the only one to have noticed this, can we?
Seriously, if you don't see it, you need to have your vision checked.  So says Poker Chick.