Guarantee at least one working parent out there can relate.
Out by 650am watch bus pull away run like hell one block in heels carrying computer damn I am a fast runner park closed for police activity bus needs to take alternate route there goes my extra time still stop for oatmeal and fruit for energy new years UNresolution starting off right where is my ID? client 1 wants new slides by end of day client 2 wants to have call at 11am to dicuss pov we do not have yet oy vey why the hell did you schedule an internal at 930am first day back oh crap I asked you to sorry team must have coffee make that a machiatto yes to that whip pile it on please..more..more..there you go ahh that's better...everyone running into my office with questions why does everyone always think I have the answers must be a leader here come the coffee jitters sending in refi application 2 big jobs over budget school nurse calls lice FUCKNO why is this happening find team members do the 5 minute power delegate race out spend commute rearranging all calls for after 4pm nanny must stay late so I can work calling all mothers whose children came into contact with mine to warn them narrowed down sources ok where is nanny was supposed to be at school by noon hopping in cab from east side to west and back east again already getting slammed with a few hundies on this did I really need to add 20 to that and what why is birthday party place telling me they didn't get my check I sent it two weeks ago WTF team calling me at home anyway seriously can no one else answer your question work phone in one hand, lice lady handing me comb in the other trying to balance and listen to both at once realize this is not humanly possible throwing out hairbrush and all little girl hairthingies hat scarf must not think about the replacement cost for this must not...bank called loan approved do a little dance have a little moment but holy shit did bank just loan me that much money all by myself pause at mortifying sense of responsibility shaken out of shock by buzzer on dryer next bed to be remade starts now why did I think six pillows on my bed was a good idea and how is it that her dad missed both this week and the last week in Dec when we had to do all the tipping and gifts and notes...mini finally asleep 9pm why am I so hungry OMG haven't stopped for so much as water since the coffee woman cannot survive on an 8am oatmeal alone forage in fridge take call from friend nice to be distracted by other people's problems for a bit chat with a couple friends online catch up on work 98 emails since noon seriously? finish at midnight collapse and begin the daily task of figuring out how to slow my mind that always seems to race at 35 million miles a minute... serenity now serenity now serenity now....
And how was YOUR first day back at work?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
5 New Year's Resolutions I will NOT be making
Inspired by my friend Theresa, the following is a list of resolutions I can't help but feel I should be committing to, yet deep down I know that pigs will fly before that happens. Therefore, this year, instead of making resolutions like everyone else, I have decided to UNmake resolutions. Anyone can start off a year with a self-improvement list, but starting off a new year by admitting to your limitations and getting them out of the way, well now that is the better way to go, don't you think?
Join me, will you? It's especially freeing to spend some time admitting to the various things we suck at now, thus saving us copious time and energy for focusing on doing more of the things we are brilliant at, such as mocking people and stealing friends' french fries.2012 New Year UNresolutions:
2. Forget about exercising more - everyone starts out the year by saying they'll exercise more. Do you really want to start of your year being just like everyone else? I didn't think so. Now, I'm not saying exercise is bad. Some of our friends even like it (ahem, Miranda, I'm talking to you here....). And perhaps this will be the year I will find more time for this. But to make it a goal? I'm a working mother, for crissake! I leave home at 7:15am and any day I have the chance to put on undereye concealer on both eyes before I am out the door - it's a good one! Adding trying to exercise to my day of juggling school drop off, umpteen work meetings, constant emergencies all day long, and finding a minute to pee - well, it just ain't gonna happen. When I have the time, I will do it. In the meantime I shall be perfecting my finger waving; at the very least my hand muscles will be strong!
3. Organization is for sissies - soooo many people declare that this will be the year they will finally get organized!
4. You'll never finish that to do list you never had time to make in the first place - this one is self-explanatory peeps. Some of you will not relate, and for those of you who can - well, you know who you are.
5. Redefine "volunteer" - if I were a betting woman, I'd go ahead and say that the following phrases uttered in one's head on occasion may sound familiar to some of you:
"This Thanksgiving, we're taking the whole family to a soup kitchen to give thanks for what we really have"
"That's it! These kids are so spoiled! I am going to make them donate all the presents to charity. Or at least one."
"I am going to give money to a homeless shelter and alleviate my guilt at not giving to every person I walk by..."
You may be well intentioned-peeps, but making promises to yourself you know you won't keep will just make you feel guilty and actually less inclined to reach out and help someone. So this year, I am going to re-define volunteering and try and do more of the "volunteer" activities I already try to do on a regular basis such as helping out at school, helping an elderly relative with their mail, talking to a friend who is sad, or baking pumpkin bread for a friend or neighbor just because you know they like it.
So there you have it. 5 resolutions I will NOT be making this year. Happy un-new year to you.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
A Toast To 2012: The Year That Won't Suck
In thinking about our last post of the year, we struggled a lot with how to characterize 2011.
On the one hand, we could simply title this post: "Good riddance crappy 2011, hello 2012!" The end of the year is a time to take stock as all the "Best albums/fashion/dirty politicians/etc. of 2011" lists in the media remind us, and the only thing we're taking stock of this year is that if we ever have to go through another year like this past one we'll never make it.
New York has a population of over 9 million yet the city can sometimes be one of the loneliest places in the world. It's not a city with a built-in community. You have to find your own community, your own niche, and in a city with so many things going on that is easier said than done. And, if like most New Yorkers, you work 50+ hours a week, you barely have enough energy to go on seamless web and order your dinner, much less try and go out and talk to your neighbor. It's a sad cliche in life that you learn who your real friends are (or aren't) during tough times, and this year sadly re-proved that to be true. So as we take stock of things we cannot elaborate on: the disappointments, multiple near-nervous breakdowns, and lost friendships, we pause to observe that living in a city of 9 million strangers doesn't necessarily help with that. When you struggle you struggle alone.
But nothing is entirely black and white so to say last year was "crap" and leave it at that would leave many other things unacknowledged. This was also the year of our first writing successes. The year mini learned how to ride a bike and tie her shoes. And while we had our backs turned it was also the year mini evolved from an innocent young person to a toothless and beautiful young girl, fully immersed in the journey that is middle childhood.
And the loneliness? Turns out that despite living amongst so many strangers, sometimes New York can also feel like a small town. The school mini attends? A brand new community for both her and her mother. The neighbor who was a stranger? A fellow alum from University. The lady at the haircut place who needed a door opened? A friend whose children went to school with your friend's child. The lady on the bus? A friend's mother. The runner you walked by on the street? Your child's piano teacher. The creepy stranger at the coffee shop? A friend of a friend from abroad. And so it continues...
So while we are tempted to talk about all the things we hated about 2011, the light at the end of the tunnel is but 12 hours away.
How will we begin 2012? Reminding ourselves that "hey, you still have your health" as we relish in the soreness that comes from celebrating our muscles in exercise class this week. Enjoying the peaceful feeling that accompanies watching a child sleep. Sipping champagne, surrounded by friends, hopefully dancing our @ss off. Feeling gratitude for both old friends that have been a part of our lives and new friends that have come into it. And excited about the adventure and possibilities that lie ahead in 2012.
On the one hand, we could simply title this post: "Good riddance crappy 2011, hello 2012!" The end of the year is a time to take stock as all the "Best albums/fashion/dirty politicians/etc. of 2011" lists in the media remind us, and the only thing we're taking stock of this year is that if we ever have to go through another year like this past one we'll never make it.
New York has a population of over 9 million yet the city can sometimes be one of the loneliest places in the world. It's not a city with a built-in community. You have to find your own community, your own niche, and in a city with so many things going on that is easier said than done. And, if like most New Yorkers, you work 50+ hours a week, you barely have enough energy to go on seamless web and order your dinner, much less try and go out and talk to your neighbor. It's a sad cliche in life that you learn who your real friends are (or aren't) during tough times, and this year sadly re-proved that to be true. So as we take stock of things we cannot elaborate on: the disappointments, multiple near-nervous breakdowns, and lost friendships, we pause to observe that living in a city of 9 million strangers doesn't necessarily help with that. When you struggle you struggle alone.
But nothing is entirely black and white so to say last year was "crap" and leave it at that would leave many other things unacknowledged. This was also the year of our first writing successes. The year mini learned how to ride a bike and tie her shoes. And while we had our backs turned it was also the year mini evolved from an innocent young person to a toothless and beautiful young girl, fully immersed in the journey that is middle childhood.
And the loneliness? Turns out that despite living amongst so many strangers, sometimes New York can also feel like a small town. The school mini attends? A brand new community for both her and her mother. The neighbor who was a stranger? A fellow alum from University. The lady at the haircut place who needed a door opened? A friend whose children went to school with your friend's child. The lady on the bus? A friend's mother. The runner you walked by on the street? Your child's piano teacher. The creepy stranger at the coffee shop? A friend of a friend from abroad. And so it continues...
So while we are tempted to talk about all the things we hated about 2011, the light at the end of the tunnel is but 12 hours away.
How will we begin 2012? Reminding ourselves that "hey, you still have your health" as we relish in the soreness that comes from celebrating our muscles in exercise class this week. Enjoying the peaceful feeling that accompanies watching a child sleep. Sipping champagne, surrounded by friends, hopefully dancing our @ss off. Feeling gratitude for both old friends that have been a part of our lives and new friends that have come into it. And excited about the adventure and possibilities that lie ahead in 2012.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
A Little Boxing Day Advice
With Christmas on a Sunday this year, the whole country has Monday off as a national holiday. Which means one thing: more people shopping day-after-Christmas sales than ever.
So in the spirit of consumerism, let us give you a little Christmas shopping advice from this New York Jew.
Seems simple, yet so many people ignore this advice. "But Poker Chick", you might say. "40% off! When do you ever get zebra-print earmuffs this cheap. And sheets! Egyptian cotton sheets at 60% off! So what if they don't match anything in my bedroom, it's the bargain of 2011! And --- oh my goodness, it's the brown and crisp! I've seen this on TV! Just think about all the money I will save not ordering in."
We know, we know. This advice is a total buzzkill and seems especially odd coming from a woman who told you about all the wonders of Sephora. But that's when you're looking for something specific. It's the impulse purchase, rationalized by the word "sale" that we are convinced has something to do with the financial crisis our country is in. See, retailers are counting on this "60% off saves me money!" mindset. We've fallen trap to this ourselves. And it's great when you were going to buy that anyway. But if it wasn't on your list, just remember, you can be smarter.
The real math is this: 40% off $100 is still $60 more than zero.
Instead of shopping, might we suggest you maybe use that day to get a jump on your New Years' Resolutions, such as catching up on your correspondence. You can use the first note to send yours truly a thank you for saving your wallet.
Happy Boxing Day, peeps.
So in the spirit of consumerism, let us give you a little Christmas shopping advice from this New York Jew.
 |
| Just because it's on sale, doesn't mean you should buy it. |
We know, we know. This advice is a total buzzkill and seems especially odd coming from a woman who told you about all the wonders of Sephora. But that's when you're looking for something specific. It's the impulse purchase, rationalized by the word "sale" that we are convinced has something to do with the financial crisis our country is in. See, retailers are counting on this "60% off saves me money!" mindset. We've fallen trap to this ourselves. And it's great when you were going to buy that anyway. But if it wasn't on your list, just remember, you can be smarter.
The real math is this: 40% off $100 is still $60 more than zero.
Instead of shopping, might we suggest you maybe use that day to get a jump on your New Years' Resolutions, such as catching up on your correspondence. You can use the first note to send yours truly a thank you for saving your wallet.
Happy Boxing Day, peeps.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Happy Chanukah. Did you just make that gelt from scratch?
One could call it dedication. Wanting our daughter to have a bag of foil-wrapped chocolates like her friends in school tomorrow, we made some.
However, one could also call it desperation. Despite knowing that Chanukah was coming for weeks, and that her school would give out gelt, we did not order the safe chocolate in time to arrive for the party. Of course, the party is a day earlier than we thought, but that's even worse. We write about allergies and planning for school celebrations all the time; we talk the talk but can't walk the walk?
So when school called asking what she would eat, we panicked. Suddenly it dawned on us that why not make our own coins! How hard can it be? One quick trip to a store and $6 later we had molds and wrappers in hand. A minor domestic miracle!
Dedication? Desperation? How 'bout just plain old procrastination.
Happy Chanukah all!
However, one could also call it desperation. Despite knowing that Chanukah was coming for weeks, and that her school would give out gelt, we did not order the safe chocolate in time to arrive for the party. Of course, the party is a day earlier than we thought, but that's even worse. We write about allergies and planning for school celebrations all the time; we talk the talk but can't walk the walk?
Dedication? Desperation? How 'bout just plain old procrastination.
Happy Chanukah all!
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