5 Things I Learned At My Kid's Piano Recital

Mini had her first piano recital today.

This was an interesting cultural experience that was new to this musically-challenged mother.  After entering a hot small room packed with 18 kids and their families, she watched all the 4-7 year olds, one by one, take their moment to shine.  Here are the few things we learned:

1) A keyboard is just not the same as a piano, even if it's a good one.
We cheaped out seeing as how none of us know how to play a piano, nor do we have room, so keyboard it was.  Poor mini fumbled for the first few notes getting used to the pressure she needed to exert on the keys.  Whoopsie. 

2) Some kids practice, and some kids really practice.
We thought mini was ready.  She practiced every day, on her own.  Not at a formal time, just whenever she felt like it.  We heard her two songs the morning of the recital.  But clearly, seeing as how smooth the other kids played their pieces, we underestimated the amount she should practice.  Another clue that the other kids played it too much: they kept going over, repeating the song even after it was done and the applause had started.  After this had happened a few times, and a 5-year old boy asked his mom "not 5 times?" we started figuring it out.

3) Your child is not the piano prodigy you think they are.
We now suspect part of the incentive to run these recitals is to humble a parent or two.

4) The teacher is better than you think they are. 
If the goal was to sell us on the need for more lessons, it worked.  One 5 year old just came in and schooled everyone with his version of that king song who's name we can never remember from "Shrek".

5) Kids can surprise even the most seasoned piano expert.
Hands down the funniest moment of the night goes to the poor 4 year old boy, who sat in his chair, played 3 off-key notes, then ran.  His mother got up in front of everyone to announce he had to go to the bathroom.  It was so funny we hope someone got it on camera to replay it for his teenage friends someday.  As everyone bit their lips to stop themselves from laughing, the teacher summed it up: "there's a first time for everything." 

Indeed, there is.  Congrats, mini.  Mama is so proud.

5 Ways Times (and words) Are A-Changin'

Yo, yo, yo, peeps!

What's up with no one talking in full sents anymore? At least no one cool or under the age of 18, it seems. 

We're down with the shorthand on texts and tweets, but it seems to have spilled over a bit too much into our lang, ya know?  Has anyone realize the extent to which this is impacting our pop cultch?

1. Kids:  Friends, parents and educators are henceforth known as the posse that shall be called BFFs, 'rents and ur teech.  
2. Working professionals:  After permanently losing wasteful words in emails such as "dear" "please" "thank you" and "sincerely", businesspeople are now bucketing all emails into two areas: "CYA" or simply "biz deets". 
3. Therapists:  Lengthy introspection and intense psychotherapy have been replaced by simply telling their patients to "figs it all out".   
4. Doctors:  Medical histories are now called "MD deets" 
5. Spam:  Spam is shorter as lengthy emails are reduced to phrases such as "#nigerianking needs ur $$ stat". 

We'd say more but then we'd be over our unoffish char limit.  Hmmm.  Maybe this short speech thing ain't so bad. 

I Hate to Ask, But...

Apparently you readers see this as a food allergy mom blog.   This is not so surprising we suppose.  "Women with twisted senses of humor who work in advertising and have children who also happen to have food allergies that they often write about" was not a category.  Go figure. 

What was surprising was seeing this little blog get almost 300 votes in just a couple of days after being nominated for "Top 25 Food Allergy Mom Blogs".  So is the fact that "Top 25 Canadian Mom Blogs" is the next category.  Interesting...

Here's where the favor comes in:  we're just past 25 right now and would really like to keep the badge!  It's pink and all, you see.

So if you have enjoyed reading any of these warped thoughts, we'd really appreciate a literal vote of confidence.  You can click on the badge in the right-hand navigation bar, or follow this link:  You can vote once a day until Nov. 16th.  In fact, you can vote even if you haven't enjoyed reading this blog.  We won't hold it against you.

Thanks, lovely peeps!  And more importantly, thanks for reading!

The Halloween Horror Snow

New Yorkers were taken by surprise today by the first October snowstorm in the city since....well, ever.

The snow messed everything up.

Occupy Wall Street protesters were brutally reminded of the generators they had lost just one day ago but chose to stay and freeze.

Other Manhattan residents were just dumbstruck.  Had it ever snowed in October? Well, technically there was a quarter inch in 1925 but with vanity sizing and all that a quarter inch in 1925 is probably less than a tenth of an inch by today's standards anyway.

What is the reason for this bizarre weather?

Well, some people think the end of the world is upon us.  One theory is that we all died May 21 and are now in some alternate universe without knowing it.

That's one way to go.

Another theory is that while the world didn't end on May 21, a chain of events was set off that will build up to our imminent destruction. 

People who subscribe to this theory were doing giant "I told you so!" dances in August after the Gotham City was hit by an earthquake and a hurricane, in the same week.   Since then, residents have been bracing themselves for locusts and cattle sickness, as surely these must be next.

Others are saying the May 21 date is really October 21, and they too are probably doing little dances today.

These are all interesting theories.  But we have another one.

You see, none of it made sense until now.  The earthquake, hurricane, both of those were rare, mild, and technically the earthquake wasn't even anywhere near New York.  So to link this recent snowstorm, a storm that brought us thundersnow, no less, to those events is odd.  Thundersnow, peeps!  Do we have to hit you over the head?

Clearly, we must blame the Canadians.

Is it a coincidence that the bizarre October event coincides with the arrival of several friends' relatives from up North? We think not.  Is it a coincidence that just one day prior, the team that won the World Series just happened to be the one closest to Canada?  Did you think it was a coincidence that this event happened exactly one hundred forty-four years, 3 months and 29 days after Canada officially became a country? Do you not see these facts staring at you in the face?

It was only a matter of time before those mild-mannered folk up North finally realized they had twice as much land as everyone else and set out to conquer the rest of North America.

It's a genius plan, really.  First, they hit us with their freak snow and next thing you know there's Caribou all over the place and every tap in the city is filled with Molson.  Then, when we're weakened, they hit us with (gasp!) their socialist medicine and gun control laws. We must stop them before it's too late!

Betcha thought those guys were dressed up for Halloween, didn't you?

Did you not see those Royal Canadian Mounties riding around the village today?  You didn't actually think those were Halloween costumes, did you?  That's exactly what they want you to think.  They're stealth, these snow-lovers, we tell you.  Stealth.  But what else would you expect from a nation whose first official citizen was named Snorri?*

Fortunately, we're onto them.   So next time you see a whole bunch of Canadian tourists "in town" after a bizarre aberration of Mother Nature, be on guard.  We're just saying.



*You can't make this stuff up! "Snorri", born in Vinland around 1000 A.D, was the first North American child to be born of European parents (Thorfin and Gudrid).

Peep-e-lehs

It's amazing what a difference a few years can make.  A few years ago, still dealing with the shock of motherhood without training, I wrote a post about avoiding large groups of women like the plague for fear of being exposed as a fraud, and wondering how one learns what a real woman/mother is supposed to know?

Flash forward 3 and 1/2 years and it is these very same groups of women that quite possibly may save me.  Guess I got over the estrogen fear.

What happened?

Well, mini grew up.  And started school.  And there were classes and birthday parties and playdates.  Somehow, we were lucky enough to end up in a place where we actually like the moms.   And then, things started getting hard.  Really hard.  The kind of phase you're supposed to look back on those times and pat yourself on the back for the resilience you have in making it through to the other side.  I'm still waiting for that part.  But I haven't waited for, is much-needed support from my girlfriends.

Rather than mocking my cluelessness when it comes to so many things, these peep-e-lehs have asked me for food advice, bending over backwards to figure out how to feed mini at their place.  They've watched her when needed, they tell me what classes and activities we should consider.  They have taken mini and I into their home on weekends, snow days, holidays, even traveled with us on vacation.  Without fail, someone checks in daily.  They read my writing, and drag me to plays, ballets, movies, dinners, drinks, even shopping when I didn't want to go (can you imagine!?).  They make the manicure appointments, they lend me books, they listen and they make me laugh.  And they've (gasp!) trusted me with their own children.

Wait, what was that last part?!

That's right.  We seem to have passed the motherhood hazing ritual that is the 5-and-under phase, so I guess one doesn't need to know every 1950s thing to be a good mother.  I still can't do any of those "female" things I wrote about years ago, but I'm a damn good baker as long as you have 6 free hours and are willing to clean up a huge mess.  And while I'm still not fully versed in the etiquette involved in making playdates I'm trying. 

So this one is a thank you to my girlfriends who have embraced me as part of a larger community that is motherhood in general.  Thank you for your support, your patience, for laughing at my jokes, for your funny and touching and educational updates, and for teaching me that even though things might not always be easy we will always be okay.