F*cked by the F-Girl, Again!

Her name was Florence. She was hot and heavy. But also dark and stormy. So stormy, in fact, she shut down and airport and left 120 people (Poker Chick included) stranded in Bermuda. Not that it's a bad place to be stranded. But if you're going to spend the money to go to Bermuda (and it is a lot), you want to be able to see that pink sand. So a hurricane kinda puts a damper on that. But Poker Chick figured Florence was a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing.

Fast forward two years later. (It can't be one year, because the F-name is male the year in between). Turns out Faye's got it in for Poker Chick, too. We figured we were safe because Faye was done and far west of the Atlantic. But of course then Poker Chick tried to plan a beach vacation. So against all odds, Faye gathered all "remnants" and moved herself back east to visit. And thus another beach vacation is rained out. To illustrate, behold the OBX weather patterns below:

Weather for most of the week

The "nice" day this week

Weather other people get here

Poker Chick is thinking perhaps she should only plan beach vacations in odd-numbered years.

Thanks a lot, bitches.

Corolla is not just a Toyota

Corolla is also a remote place on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. So remote, in fact, that it does not get blackberry service. In case you were wondering, Corolla is here:
<-That's Corolla. Waaay out in the middle of nowhere.
To give you some scale, the bridge to OBX is in Kitty Hawk, so we had to go another 20-30 miles to get away from civilization. The closest "big" town to us is to the south, called Duck. There are several advantages to this:

1) It's easy to remember if you get lost. "The one above the duck!"
2) Everything sounds funnier when added to "duck". "Duck donuts". "Duck fudge". "Duck Smoothies". It's hilarious! Especially when "duck donuts" are "made to order".

Now, some of you must be wondering how our city girl is faring in these parts. Well, the snob within is truly slumming it, peeps. Let her paint you a picture:

• She's living in a house. Not the Four Seasons, not a resort house with maid service and a restaurant, but a regular not-so-fancy teal-green house.
  
• For the most part, it feels like a cross between the Jersey shore and the Hamptons. So far, the only big advantage she's been able to identify is warmer water. Just like the NY/NJ beaches, there's kitchsy stores and farmers markets and fudge and mini-golf. And the plethora of bbq (pigs in pits) is...hmmm...maybe a little more...country.
• Speaking of country, there's wild horses running around these parts.
• And beer "drive-thrus". That's right, beer. Drive-through. They're called "Brew-Thrus".
  

Now, lest you think she's complaining, she must add that the house has a pool and hot tub. And having a stocked fridge is.. (gasp)...not so bad. She didn't cook or anything but she did make a turkey sandwich. With sides of grapes and carrot sticks. It may be more fruit and veggies than she's eaten in weeks. Also, the beach and sun are gorgeous. As a result, after just one day, she is brown and luscious. And the kids had fun too. This is good because apparently Hurricane Faye left behind some remnants that are headed back east and will ruin the rest of the stay with rain and clouds all the time. Lovely.

Tomorrow we'll post about amusing signs way. There are some you peeps will not believe. Meanwhile, good trip or not good trip? We'll leave readers to their own opinions for now. Feel free to share.

Help a Girl Eat, Will Ya?

To follow up on yesterday's post, this morning's breakfast involved Poker Chick making blueberry pancakes for the California family. Now, Poker Chick knows how to cook. She just does it so rarely it's a major event when she does. The repeated "PC cooked!?" reactions had her thinking: she's leaving CA tonight for a week in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Never mind the fact she's never been there and rented a house sight unseen (is she really doing this?). But she's realizing that "remote" and "beach" mean cooking every night. And let's face it, cooking every night is not much of a vacation.

And there's the rub. Remember the mini has food allergies? So, if anyone knows any restaurants in OBX that are allergy-friendly please help a Chick out. There's a special souvenir in it for you!

Hidden Talents

We all have them. Things we didn't know we could do. "They"* say that it's important to put yourself in different environments once in a while. It challenges your brain and helps you achieve personal growth.

Some people don't listen to this, some take it to the extreme (we're talking about you Mt. Fuji-climbing type peeps here). But most of us aren't climbing mountains. We're just living our daily lives and doing ordinary things. Occasionally, we try a "new" ordinary thing and those days become extraordinary to us. Even though they're far from exciting to most people.

So, allow Poker Chick to demonstrate her not-so-hidden talent for dramaticizing would-be boring moments:

The Scenario: our die-hard New Yorker finds herself in sunny California. What new skills has she discovered in two days? The natural ability to hit a golf ball (who knew?). And unsurpassed Jell-O making talent. We're talking the whole thing gone in minutes. People swooning, exclaiming "wow! I've never had Jell-O like this before! So delicious!"

Ok, ok so there was no swooning. But exclamations were made. And all agreed that if there were an international culinary medal for Jell-O making, she'd be sporting it right now. (Ha! "Sporting"! See what we did there? We worked in the golf reference. That's so awesome).

Makes one wonder what new and exciting events will be uncovered tomorrow, doesn't it?

*Who are "they"? Good question. If you know, please tell Poker Chick as she's been looking for them forever. "They" are the same people that tell you too many sweets are bad for you, that you should exercise and eat your vegetables, that smoking is bad, and basically that anything else fun you do should be making you feel guilty. "They" have been hiding for years. If people actually found out who "they" are, all the mystery and power of their decrees would be gone.

Happy Hour, Indeed

For the time being, Delta is back in favor with Poker Chick. First, they restored her elite status for another year. Next, she was able to use miles for a last minute transcontinental flight and even get an upgrade. No, she’s not here to gloat. It’s just that the extra miles were SO worth it she thought she should share for future reference.

First of all, you cannot underestimate basic perks such as a clean bathroom, quiet place to sit and basic food/drink. Now add to that shorter lines in a redonculously crowded terminal and you have the nirvana that is luxury travel.

Skip two hours from leaving home and we find Poker Chick eating deviled eggs with caviar, drinking a surprisingly good Bloody Mary, and typing on her computer (which is charging along with her cell phone and blackberry). Did we mention the comfortable chair?

Repeat after Poker Chick: “’Tis good to be a snob. ‘Tis good to be a snob.”

Now you must excuse Poker Chick. She’s up and running to the nearest table faster than you can say “dessert bar.”