Can These Guys Fix The Economy? The Solution to Sluggish Holiday Sales is Here!

On October 30th, Poker Chick went to buy some Halloween stickers. Sure, she knew it was last-minute, but she still expected the drugstore to be stocked for the holiday.

Apparently, it had already moved on.

Right there, above the picked-over remains of whatever Halloween cards were left, was a Santa hat. A Santa hat, peeps. Did we mention this was October 30th?

She filed away this disturbing observation and it was all-but-forgotten until she read this article in Advertising Age.

K-Mart has announced that it is moving "Black Friday" to November 2nd. That's right, two days after Halloween.

Now it was one thing when retailers could barely wait for turkey to digest before displaying their flashiest new toys. But right after Halloween? Aside from being just wrong, it reeks of desperation. I mean, this is K-Mart, for chrissakes! One of the countries largest retailers! Millions of Americans shop there. It's not like they'd ever be in danger of having to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy or anything...

Oh. Right. Well then.

But still. C'mon, peeps. Buying Santa hats right after Halloween is not going to help. Trust us on this one.

Halloween For Neurotics

This one is for all you parents who were guilty of "going there" at any point in your head tonight.

Ah, Halloween. Candy, and smiles. Costumes and trick-o-treaters. But - uh oh. With candy comes evil ingredients and recalls. With costumes come disguises and thiefs.

Hmmm. It's all good until you start thinking too much:

In a friend's lobby:

Oh look! How cute - it's SpongeBob! Someone's parent went all out. Wait a minute, there's no kid with him....he's just walking around by himself taking pictures with all the kids in the lobby....can someone say "Pedophile"! Walk away, slowly, slowly....

While walking around the neighborhood:

Hey, that building is having a party in the lobby for the little kids! How cute! They even have a clown making balloon animals. Our building should do that next year. Maybe I'll organize it.....Oh, wait. Clowns are creepy. Hmmm.

And now, we refer you back to the SpongeBob sentiment.

While Trick-or-treating in our building:

Ok - Nestle crunch, ok to put in bucket, yellow M&Ms - no. "Take the blue one", "Take the red one..", yikes all I want to do is make sure mini is not putting something overtly peanut (i.e. Reeses, Snickers) into her bucket. Even though she's not eating anything in her bucket. I know, I know....but who knew a little orange square could be so scary?

In truth, we had a great Halloween. Mini understood the concept for the first time ever and had a blast. We trick-or-treated, hung out with our neighbors and brought treats to friends. The best part of not being able to eat your candy? Giving it away at the end of the night. Fun, plus a bonus good deed. Not such a bad lot.

Science is Beautiful. And You Can Be, Too.

Behold, the anti-frump:
Who else here has been living life thinking that the weekend frump was unavoidable. Blotchy, greasy skin is just part of the mommy weekend uniform, no? Turns out, no!

Don'tcha always look at those few moms that always look so put together? Wonder where they had the time to wash their hair? How they got that perfectly dewy skin? You know you secretly hate them for looking so damn good. How do they look so friggin' perfect at 9am on a Saturday morning.

Well, Poker Chick has discovered a secret weapon for you. And it's totally do-able, in about three seconds-flat. Natural beauty, my ass!

Thanks to the brother who watched the mini during a nap, Poker Chick was actually able to set foot in Sephora for more than five minutes (pause for gasp). That store just keeps getting and better. And the "play with me" concept never gets old. Poker Chick came out with softer cheeks, perfume, fun eyecolors - and a bottle of this Smashbox miracle in a bottle. Enough time has passed that she's been able to test this for a while, as an under-makeup primer and even just by itself over moisturizer. Amazing. Redness - gone. Blotches - gone. Shininess - gone. Even with no makeup.

Thanks to this discovery, she'll never have to endure crappy skin again. And neither do you.

Now here's a bonus for readers that are still with us on this post. Ever wonder how other women always look freshly showered, even the ones who claim not to wash their hair every day? Check this out:A swipe. A spray. A shake. It's like magic in a minute. Who knew such lovely products existed?

Yay, science!

*This post was inspired by our friends at We Covet. And, of course, by Sephora. (Who has no prior knowledge of this post but is welcome to bribe PC with free product nonetheless).

Did Anyone Else Have a Bad Day Today?

7:30am. Poker Chick got on a bus, realizing her mistake of leather boots and jacket in 45-degree windy rain with no umbrella. No biggie, she could just hail a cab! Oh, wait, not with $2 in her wallet. Doh! Bus it was. As she watched a cockroach scramble on the seat in front of her, she already knew it was going to be one of those days.

[Insert middle, blah blah blah].

Long story short, the day ended with two pairs of dry socks, sweatpants, a sweatshirt with hood pulled way over her head, a blanket, and a cup of hot tea - and it still took over two hours to defrost Poker Chick and stop her from shivering all over.
c-c-c-c-cold......

How 'bout others? Poker Chick is working a theory that Oct. 28th a bad day for New Yorkers in general. Anyone else find themselves staring at their Marc Jacobs praying those water spots are not permanent while they wait for their extremities to thaw?

Lose the Hat or Forego the Milk Duds

"Trick or treat"! What does that mean, exactly? Do a search on the web and you'll come up with many different definitions. Though it depends on the country you live in, for American peeps it means the following:

Trick or Treat, also known as Guising, is an activity for children on Hallowe'en, in which they are dressed up in costumes, often of supposedly malevolent supernatural beings such as ghosts, demons, or witches, and proceed from house to house, asking for sweets with the phrase "trick-or-treat?" with the implied threat that, if their demands for confectionery are not met, they will perform some "trickery".*

Now, what's not to like about Halloween? Dressing up. Candy. Parties. It's all good. But there's one aspect of Halloween that's always bothered us: parents who dress up.

We're not talking about adults going to parties, parades or celebrations where other adults are in costume. This is acceptable with grownups- only when alcohol is served.

We're talking about the parents who go around trick-or-treating with their kids in full costume. I mean really, how, in anyone's mind, is this a good idea? It's great to go with your kids. Be there with them and enjoy the night. That's all you need to do. Now, maybe your kids liked your costumes when they were little. But at some point the kids get old enough to look around and realize that Bernie there, down the street, his mom never dresses up. And in school, Lily's mom never dresses up. And the dad next door has never dressed up...

At what point do they realize it's just kids in costume and look at you in confusion? And if your rationale is trying to make memories, does anyone's fondest Halloween memories ever really involve their mom's rendition of Bunnicula?

Now, in Poker Chick's house, the response to this embarrassing sight is withholding candy. You see, when we opened a door expecting children in costume and also got a grownup in full witches' attire and a painted white face with blood streaks, we'd already been tricked. And horrifically so, might we add. So the "trick or treat" decision was already made. No treat for the grownup. Just a mean trick they played on us. Despite what these people thought, it crossed the line from cool to creepy.

This is of course one opinion. Some grownups clearly support the action of dressing up with your kids, or this would not be the national epidemic that it has become. But something tells us that if you've read this blog before and actually enjoy it, you're not one of those people.

So this Halloween, help us get out this plea to our fellow parental peeps. Please no costumes. If you feel you must, stick the bunny ears in your pocket and put them on only to answer the door.

Or, at the very least, bring a flask with you.

*Quote from the explanation guide here, which according to Poker Chick explains it best