I Don't Write Anymore, But....

I have not blogged in forever.  Sorry, peeps.  Reality of single motherhood, an unexpected roommate (more on that another time), and a bad case of bronchitis has sort of put a crimp in our writing time.  But lucky for you we have not one, but two awesome friends who have each "arrived" in their own way.  Also, they're kick-ass peeps.  So there's that.

Emily writes about the challenges of raising boys and girls to be themselves while trying to buck gender norms at the same time.  We've always had a link to her blog here, love her writing, and today's piece was in the New York Times.  The Times, peeps!

Lani has her debut post out in a local NY magazine site.  It's about the humor of being a parent, so we're sure even our non-NY readers will relate.  Plus, newbies need encouragement.

Please check out their work and join the other mothers commenting discussion!
 

A Toast To 2012: The Year That Won't Suck

In thinking about our last post of the year, we struggled a lot with how to characterize 2011.

On the one hand, we could simply title this post: "Good riddance crappy 2011, hello 2012!" The end of the year is a time to take stock as all the "Best albums/fashion/dirty politicians/etc. of 2011" lists in the media remind us, and the only thing we're taking stock of this year is that if we ever have to go through another year like this past one we'll never make it.

New York has a population of over 9 million yet the city can sometimes be one of the loneliest places in the world. It's not a city with a built-in community. You have to find your own community, your own niche, and in a city with so many things going on that is easier said than done. And, if like most New Yorkers, you work 50+ hours a week, you barely have enough energy to go on seamless web and order your dinner, much less try and go out and talk to your neighbor. It's a sad cliche in life that you learn who your real friends are (or aren't) during tough times, and this year sadly re-proved that to be true. So as we take stock of things we cannot elaborate on: the disappointments, multiple near-nervous breakdowns, and lost friendships, we pause to observe that living in a city of 9 million strangers doesn't necessarily help with that. When you struggle you struggle alone.

But nothing is entirely black and white so to say last year was "crap" and leave it at that would leave many other things unacknowledged. This was also the year of our first writing successes. The year mini learned how to ride a bike and tie her shoes. And while we had our backs turned it was also the year mini evolved from an innocent young person to a toothless and beautiful young girl, fully immersed in the journey that is middle childhood.

And the loneliness? Turns out that despite living amongst so many strangers, sometimes New York can also feel like a small town. The school mini attends? A brand new community for both her and her mother. The neighbor who was a stranger? A fellow alum from University. The lady at the haircut place who needed a door opened? A friend whose children went to school with your friend's child. The lady on the bus? A friend's mother. The runner you walked by on the street? Your child's piano teacher. The creepy stranger at the coffee shop? A friend of a friend from abroad. And so it continues...

So while we are tempted to talk about all the things we hated about 2011, the light at the end of the tunnel is but 12 hours away.

How will we begin 2012? Reminding ourselves that "hey, you still have your health" as we relish in the soreness that comes from celebrating our muscles in exercise class this week. Enjoying the peaceful feeling that accompanies watching a child sleep. Sipping champagne, surrounded by friends, hopefully dancing our @ss off. Feeling gratitude for both old friends that have been a part of our lives and new friends that have come into it. And excited about the adventure and possibilities that lie ahead in 2012.

Social Schmocial, What Does Miss Manners Say?

Quick! Can you identify all these logos?

Recently, a friend of ours had a baby and posted the news on Facebook.   Well, technically his wife had the baby but that's besides the point.  What was notable about this announcement was not so much the post itself but rather the conspicuous lack of "announcement" email that went out.  Think about that.  It was so quickly assumed that Facebook would be sufficient, they didn't even send an email.  Their parents, friends, family, almost all got it.

But a couple of friends who aren't on Facebook were out of the loop and had to find out through the cool people on Facebook others. 

So this leads us to ask:  has Facebook become so mainstream that it's socially acceptable to assume people will read what you write on your status?  What would Emily Post say?

Of course, this begs the larger question of what would Miss Manners say about social media in general?  Is it now assumed that we're keeping up with everyone's status on our network?  What if we're friends with hundreds of people?  What about the friend who posts daily on how many tissues they used that day?  Or the coworker who constantly has something stuck in their teeth?*  Do we have to keep up with all of that?  Are we really expected to know what Aunt Ida ate for dessert every day? 

And while we're at it, let's consider social media in the professional realm, shall we?  Before LinkedIn, it would be unthinkable to not reply to new business opportunities from headhunters and potential employers.  But when these people try and "connect" with you, do they really expect you to add the to your profile for the world to see?   If you don't, you're rude, but if you do accept all of these you end up with a profile that's comprised of all sorts of people you've never met (and who knows what you don't know about them) and what does that say about you when others look you up?  That can't be good, right?  It's analogous to logging into Facebook and seeing a friend request from your father.  Nothing good can come of it.

We did find this one video but it's so...you know, 2009.  It's all different now.

The only thing we know for sure about social media etiquette is that it's not polite to read these posts and not pass them along.  We're just saying.  And while you're at it, if you or someone you know or someone in your network or someone in your friend or coworker's network happens to be friends with Emily Post on Facebook, could you give her a little poke and ask her what the etiquette is for this whole social media thing is?  That'd be swell.

*These are all fictitious examples to make a point, peeps. We're not stupid enough to use actual examples from our network.  After all, wouldn't want to risk being a social pariah. 

Shout Outs

Poker Chick would like dedicate the song "Champagne Supernova" to Din Din and Big Boy today. To the Canada bunch, you've been awfully quiet up there. What's the story, Morning Glory?