The Work vs. Stay Home Debate, Summed Up in a Half-Ass Poem

Staying home can suck.
There's more dishes than anyone ever tells you.  

But the smiles are so rewarding.

There's no dishes at work.

And a job well done gives you satisfaction and a paycheck.

But oh, the guilt.

Either way, in the end, it will be o.k.

 

Working Mothers in September

September is by far the hardest month to be a working mother (Truthfully, it's probably the hardest month to be a working parent, period, but since we've only experienced the mother side of it personally, we can only speak to that.) 

We've been saying this for years.  Since 2007, to be exact.  Last year, we even wrote about it on someone else's blog, so that makes it even more legitimate!

So imagine the validation we felt when Laura Rowley shared the same exact insight over at the Huffington Post this week.

This is an issue that's not talked about enough, so we're glad to see this being elevated in the public consciousness.  Please share her piece with as many parents as you can think of.   It's a good first step to creating a more family-friendly culture in the workplace, something we believe is more critical for successful companies than they realize....mostly because people don't talk about this stuff enough.

As always, you heard it here first, peeps.

Reality Cometh Crashing Down...

Guarantee at least one working parent out there can relate. 

Out by 650am watch bus pull away run like hell one block in heels carrying computer damn I am a fast runner park closed for police activity bus needs to take alternate route there goes my extra time still stop for oatmeal and fruit for energy new years UNresolution starting off right where is my ID? client 1 wants new slides by end of day client 2 wants to have call at 11am to dicuss pov we do not have yet oy vey why the hell did you schedule an internal at 930am first day back oh crap I asked you to sorry team must have coffee make that a machiatto yes to that whip pile it on please..more..more..there you go ahh that's better...everyone running into my office with questions why does everyone always think I have the answers must be a leader here come the coffee jitters sending in refi application 2 big jobs over budget school nurse calls lice FUCKNO why is this happening find team members do the 5 minute power delegate race out spend commute rearranging all calls for after 4pm nanny must stay late so I can work calling all mothers whose children came into contact with mine to warn them narrowed down sources ok where is nanny was supposed to be at school by noon hopping in cab from east side to west and back east again already getting slammed with a few hundies on this did I really need to add 20 to that and what why is birthday party place telling me they didn't get my check I sent it two weeks ago WTF team calling me at home anyway seriously can no one else answer your question work phone in one hand, lice lady handing me comb in the other trying to balance and listen to both at once realize this is not humanly possible throwing out hairbrush and all little girl hairthingies hat scarf must not think about the replacement cost for this must not...bank called loan approved do a little dance have a little moment but holy shit did bank just loan me that much money all by myself pause at mortifying sense of responsibility shaken out of shock by buzzer on dryer next bed to be remade starts now why did I think six pillows on my bed was a good idea and how is it that her dad missed both this week and the last week in Dec when we had to do all the tipping and gifts and notes...mini finally asleep 9pm why am I so hungry OMG haven't stopped for so much as water since the coffee woman cannot survive on an 8am oatmeal alone forage in fridge take call from friend nice to be distracted by other people's problems for a bit chat with a couple friends online catch up on work 98 emails since noon seriously? finish at midnight collapse and begin the daily task of figuring out how to slow my mind that always seems to race at 35 million miles a minute... serenity now serenity now serenity now....


And how was YOUR first day back at work?

And how was your week?

If you're, er, a human being, you know what it's like to be overwhelmed. Add children to the mix. Add a full-time job that's been working you 60 hours a week for what seems like forever. Add school contracts, figuring out camp, refinancing a home, and about a zillion other things within a one-week window and you have.......

You have a severe drought of Poker Chick posts, for one. What else? Let's see...

Stress
Anger
Irritability
Major sleep deprivation
Scatterbrain
Disorganization
Tantrums (4 year olds don't respond well to too much going on)
A diet of caffeine and alcohol mixed in with french fries and the occasional meal. Hey, a girl's gotta work through it somehow!

Poker Chick is way hotter than this woman (left)

Stress. Life. Chaos. Now, this is not intended to be a rant but a necessary foundation to set to understand the weekend from hell. It was supposed to be the weekend of catchup. It started out well. Poker husband let this girl sleep in (all the way to 9am!! isn't it sad that that really is exciting?) Then she went to pilates, the first formal exercise she's had in months. And probably the first full breath too (thanks, Miranda, trainer extraordinaire!) Then she went to do several hours of work. She was calm. She was productive. It was amazing. All was going according to plan. When the work was done all she had to do was sign the mortgage papers, do 6 weeks' worth of laundry, write 30 thank you notes, and book a trip of Florida. In one afternoon.

You see where we are going with this, don't you?

Yup. It didn't happen. PC came home to more chaos. A washing machine hose broke. Water damage was in the floor, wall, plaster, somehow all the way through into mini's room. Large chunks of paint and plaster were missing next to her bed. And apparently this was also the case in the apartment below as well.

So forget thank you's and papers and catching up on a huge backlog of stuff. Cue schlepping downstairs for laundry and digging through pockets for quarters. Cue back and forth calls from super to insurance company. Cue men lugging 5 or 6 giant machines into PCs apartment for several days to prevent mold. Cue mini now sleeping in PCs room and using her bathroom as hers were unusable. Cue more stress as these machines were louder than plane engines during take-off, and they had to be on 24/7! Cue plumbers and painters and a threatened lawsuit for the neighbors insurance deductible.

And (this really is the absolute worst part for PC), cue cockroaches. Who like the water and came out to play. In her kitchen. And her bathroom. And her medicine cabinet, which she learned only when opening it looking for a Dora band-aid. Cue more calls to the super. Exterminators. Traps. Cue sleepless nights 'cause this girl is a baby when it comes to these things and the dark meant they would come out creeping and crawling.

So, friends and fans. The lesson for you is: if it's been a while since Poker Chick has had something to say, rest assured. There will be an interesting story in it for you soon.

(mūd)

mood^{1, n.}

In case you hadn't noticed, our girl's in a bad mood. Which got her to thinking. Why? Let's examine the options:

• Stress. Work has been overwhelming and all-consuming lately. 'Tis true.
• Lack of balance. Today Poker Chick had her first big mom f-ck up, she missed the Purim parade. It was a conscious choice as she had a big meeting at work. The parade was covered by the husband and Big Boy. But she hadn't been faced with that choice before and it sucked. She wished she could have been there to see the mini. The guilt, oh the guilt!
  
• Inadequate sleep. For the past couple of weeks the mini has been getting up several times at night to "make a pee pee". We're talking like every two hours. Poker Chick hasn't been this exhausted since the newborn stage.
• Jet-lag. Well, Poker Chick probably doesn't have jet lag anymore, but she has been on a whole heck of a lot of airplanes in the past week or so. 'Tis draining.
• Malnutrition. Ok so that might be a bit of an exaggeration. But loads of travel and a redonculous work schedule = irregular meals. If you're Poker Chick stress means reduced appetite too. Counterintuitive, we know.
• Bad news. Between sick relatives and a funeral this weekend for a friend's parent, 'tis hard to stay cheery.

Excellent illustration of bad mood flowchart. Thanks, mystery online person!

What puts you peeps in a bad mood? There's gotta be, like, 1,000 valid reasons out there for being pissed off. Don't let Poker Chick be pissy alone!!! Let's all share a good vent as we ponder why exhaustion is making Poker Chick pretend to talk like an Irishwoman.

Unwanted

"I don't love you" says the mini. "Go away!" she screams when I sit next to her on the couch. I move a bit. "Go away more" and she pushes me.

She wakes up at 1am crying. I rub her back for a few minutes. She calms down. Just as I think she's asleep she says loudly "Go away now."

Now she may have broken my nose. OK, she didn't mean it (she said "I didn't mean to hurt you, Mommy!") but still, she whacked me good.

She does not talk like this to anyone else, not her father, babysitter or teachers. So here I sit with ice on my face, wondering where I went wrong. I have constant guilt as more-than-full time working mother, so of course this is another one of those times when I wonder if this is what I get for not being home. So seriously, I'm asking - is it me?