A sample of the top stories from today's news alone:
1. Cars are not selling well this holiday season. Duh.
2. Lebanon could be in the Guinness book of World records of a giant potato. Well, that's one way to get there.
3. The Irish have bad pork. Mental note: no more traif.
4. "Man vs. Wild" host injured in Antarctica. Great. Thanks for the 2009 season spoiler, news people!
5. Laid-off workers seek pay. No kidding.
6. Amy Poehler is back doing news at SNL after just a few weeks. Really?
What happened to, like, real news?