Go to ATM to get cash to pay babysitter. Card gets rejected as expired. Bank is closed and as it's Friday won't re-open until Monday. Go home and call bank. They will take a week to send a new one in the mail. Boo.
Call husband and force him to leave work two hours earlier than planned, so he can go the ATM. Pay babysitter extra money for staying late to wait for him. Double Boo.
Days Two and Three
This is easy enough! Husband can open his wallet for most things, and Poker Chick has enough in her wallet to cover minimal expenses without worrying. Totally doable!!
Cash running low. Opt for $5 sandwich instead of $10 salad, get tea instead of fancy $5 coffee drink. Realize there's not enough cash for dinner and slyly reach for husband's wallet when the delivery guy shows up. Make sure to leave him enough to be fair.
Repeat Day Four, only this time husband is left with just $5 in his wallet. Poker Chick is down to $2.
Buy breakfast for $1.50 at coffee cart on street. Get free copy of New York Post as a bonus. Nice! Maybe Poker Chick should be doing more of this living on the cheap!
Forage for lunch. Soda and apple in office fridge, someone left out crackers, find leftover bag of potato chips in drawer. Forget about cash problem until late in the day. Walk home and realize in horror not only are you cashless but husband has just left town for three days. Feel like 1950s housewife and beat yourself up for being dependent.
Order sushi for dinner so you can justify enough food to allow credit card usage. Feel less like a 1950s housewife and more like a modern woman bringing in her own income so she can eat sushi if she wants to. Enjoy meal and remind yourself to borrow $20 from a coworker tomorrow.
No, Poker Chick did not "eat a bowl of stupid." But ain't this funny?Day Seven
Desperation. Forget to ask for money, buy $10 salad with credit card. On the way home, look lovingly at a slice of cheesecake and wonder how you're going to scrounge the $4 for this one. Swallow your pride and ask if you can pay with a credit card. Walk away with cake and eat with guilty pleasure and a disturbed sense of accomplishment.
Check mailbox for ATM card and frown at nothing but catalogs. Eat cereal for dinner as you feel too embarrassed to use a credit card again.
Desperation x3. Convince coworkers to order pizza delivery for lunch as it's "raining and you're all so busy". Smile in satisfaction knowing that other colleague who paid will submit for reimbursement and you still got to eat your pizza. Mentally praise your creativity.
4pm. Freakout as you realize you have to pay the babysitter again and husband's flight home is delayed. Doh!
Go home and dance a happy dance as you see ATM card in the mailbox. Have your day ruined as you open and see it's a debit card which you specifically requested NOT to receive. Talk to bank and learn you will have to wait another week for the real one. Throw out every curse word you know.
Many people may laugh at this, arguing that tons of people are going cashless these days. Everyone (but Poker Chick) has a debit card. Go ahead and laugh. Then Poker Chick will tell you that when people use debit or credit cards instead of cash they spend, on average, 50% more on their purchases. 50%!!!!! That adds up, peeps.
Now who's laughing?