Friday, June 29, 2007

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Any real New Yorker knows the perils of getting on a crowded subway at rush hour, but if you're female the experience is particularly repugnant.

Here's a rundown of the crazy characters Poker Chick has bumped into. Holler if any of these sound familiar and please...next time feel free to say hello to the people who "brighten up" your commute.


Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhood? In your neighborhood? Say, who are the people in your neighborhood? The people you meet on your train.

The yeller: I'm the yeller: I always sounds the same. "Keep moving, people! Move into the train!" With elbows and fists and screams, I'll stomp over those before me.

'Cause a yeller is a
person on your subway train. On your subway train. On your subway train, a yeller is a person on your subway train. A person that you meet each day.

The bagman: As the bagman I needs lots of stuff. Briefcase, backpack or man-purse...it's never enough. But when the doors lock me inside the train, I tug at my poor strap in vain.

Oh the bagman is a person on your subway train. On your subway train. On your subway train, a bagman is a person on your subway train. A person that you meet each day.

The stinker: I'm a stinker coming from the gym. Or I'm foreign or skipped showering on a whim. You suppress the sudden urge to vomit, 'cause your nose is shoved against my 'pit.

The intern: As an intern I'm the most amusing. Looking awkward in a tie, I don't know what I'm doing. Yet I smile to avoid the big map near me. Who cares, 3 months and I am history.

Hard-on man: Now hard-on man's the worst offender. I stand behind you while positioning my little member. I'm hot for you and want to show it, but hope that others haven't noticed. We'll add an extra oink here. Because I am just so disgusting.

Yes....hard-on man's a person on your subway train. On your subway train. On your subway train, hard-on man's a person on your subway train. A person that you meet each day.

Above: Japanese women get their own cars as 64% report being groped on crowded trains.

EVERYBODY SING: These are the people in your neighborhood. In your neighborhood, in your neighborhood. Yes, these are the people in your neighborhood. The people that you greet each day.

5 comments:

Athena said...

I'm so glad I walk to work these days....

Emily said...

There are NO yellers on the London tube. I'm serious -- no matter how empty the middle aisle is and how crowded by the doors, no one says anything.

Mustn't grumble.

Anonymous said...

I'm the hard on man...Please don't tell!

-eh, gaga

Mishster said...

Eh-gaga man, you are sick!

-big sis

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the crack pot, flasher, and chocolate bar salesmen!