Saturday, April 26, 2008

Cleaning House

Today was an odd day. Poker Chick has had a rather nasty cold the past few days, and this morning she woke up hardly able to swallow and with a low-grade temperature. It was 7:30am and she found herself sleepily making oatmeal and missing her bed while the husband slept. She realized he would need to take the mini to ballet this morning. She did not have the energy for getting dressed and out by 9:00, she desperately just needed to sleep.

9:01. Husband was still sleeping. F*ck. At this point she realized she was screwed. She gulped some mouthwash, threw on clothes and grabbed the mini. They had to run.

On the bus (they were too late to waste time walking the one mile) she decided if she was going to be up at this hour she might as well have the husband take the kid after so she could go to her now-and-again Pilates class (it's a lot harder than it sounds, seriously).

Thirty minutes after ballet and she had somehow gotten the mini changed, dealt with the potty, given her a snack, ran six blocks to the bookstore (all while carrying the "darling" who refuses to walk and eat at the same time), grabbed the workout clothes she forgot from the husband and threw them in her purse, ran another six blocks from there to her class, and changed in a flash once she got there. Even now she's not sure how she made it, it doesn't sound humanly possible. Seriously, that was one manic half hour.

The class was awesome as always, and it's always a bonus that it's taught by a friend. She worked through the sniffles*, and the weirdest thing happened after .

She had.....energy.

She walked home, all her muscles crazy sore, and after a bit of lunch she put the radio on and....just.....started.....cleaning.

If you know Poker Chick IRL you probably don't believe this. If you don't, all you have to do is read any post on how clumsy she is or how she's a sh*tty housewife, and you won't believe it either.

All the clutter under the windowsills....gone. Things thrown out, put away. And - this is the best - her ENTIRE closet switched over to summer. This certainly doesn't sound monumentous but you must remember we're talking about a monumentally messy and lazy person. The huge pile of clothes on top of the hamper had been serving as her closet since last summer. Well, that and the open suitcase next to the bed she's been living in and out of. Shoes were everywhere. But when she was done, not only was she able to put stuff in the hamper she was actually able to close BOTH closet doors!! Winter shoes were hidden away in boxes! Sweaters were put in the tee shirt drawer, while all the tee shirts came out to the closet in full view! Too-big, too-old, and too-outdated clothes were retired to a giant "donate" bag. She excitedly made giant to-do lists, including a small list of items she would need to pick up at the Container store to complete this impromptu project. The Container store? Willingly? Poker Chick?

It was unbelievable. It was like a day of shopping, for free**. With skirts finally on skirt hangers she was able to count them. (She owns 23 skirts. Just skirts. Damn). As shoes were placed next to, rather than on top of, each other she re-found the fun, less practical shoes that were always hidden away (Sparkly blue shoes! Jimmy Choos! And five pairs of flip-flops!). Belts, finally on a belt hanger. She owns a whole bunch of belts. Who knew??

At this point we stop and ask readers not to do the warranted eyeroll. We know most of you "put together" people go through this exercise every year. But believe it or not, Poker Chick had never done the wardrobe switchy-thing. So maybe it was ballet or maybe it was her muscles waking up, maybe it's just spring, or maybe it's Passover. But somehow, the goddess of female domesticity finally found Poker Chick. And so she had to write about it. Because something tells her she'll be gone in the morning.***


*we'll spare you the details of her cold. Add in asthma, imagine all the dust, and well...you can imagine the damage for yourself. It ain't pretty. But hey, her closet now is.
**Dear husband: please note, she still found some gaps she needs to fill this summer. We know what you're thinking as you read this so we're warning you now that shopping is still warranted. Of course it doesn't make sense to you. You're a guy.
***No matter. All that cleaning and this princess is thinking a mani/pedi is in order for tomorrow anyway.

No comments: